Year in Review Questionairre

Happy New Year, darlings! 
It's not a date on a calendar, 
it's an invitation to get yourself free. (There must be fifty ways...)

Or, stay in bed and watch reruns. Whatever.
We get to choose.

I found this questionaire at The Harpy, by a blogger to whom I've never spoken who is on Linda Sue's blogroll. She (The Harpy) just made a massive life change, and her answers are fascinating ... and funny.

Here are my answers.

1. What did you do in 2025 that you’d never done before?

Surprising myself, I started referring to Mary (Jesus’ mom) as a friend of mine– –not even sure why— but if I say that, sometimes people light up and say she is a friend of theirs too. I like that.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions? 

What even were they?
[goes back and checks]

a) Last year I'd resolved to take the National Park Service's New Year's advice:
"Believe in yourself like visitors who believe they can pet a bison."

I had a lot more self-doubt than that, 
but here's a weird thing: 
Seeing Trump's undeserved self-confidence is, weirdly, inspiring.
Confidence is a con-game. 
It is generated internally--con yourself into thinking you are great!
(* * * But don't let go of knowing when you're not great, too.)

b) Also had written, "to stay off the white sugar (syrup, honey, fructose, etc.)."

And, amazingly, yes, I did. And will keep staying off.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? 

A middle-aged customer I like a lot at the thrift store told me the other day, 
“I’m getting a baby today.” 
A young relative of hers had had a baby and couldn’t keep it (for sad reasons)…so it’s hers, at least until the mom gets it together. 
Or forever, if not.

I ran and got the softest-ever stuffed animal from the back, new with a tag from Jellycat (bougie).

Welcome to the world, babies. 💗 Buckle up!

4. Did anyone die?

Fact-checker here! 
I love demographics.
Yes, around 100 of us die every minute =  60+ million died on Earth this year.

Source: ourworldindata.org/births-and-deaths

And, Individuals?

I keep thinking about Rob Reiner--because I knew him when I was growing up. Mostly from watching years of All in the Family every ...was it Wednesdays? 
But also my mother had taken us to see Ten from Your Show of Shows (1973)--she loved Rob's dad, Carl Reiner.

So it was all-in-the-family, and then the Reiners were killed by their own child... 

Is my reaction only shock? 
Or is there something deeper? 
Certainly it's something about family... and, of course,
How do we help deeply troubled people? 
(Like my mother.)

Larger issue: The Suffering of Others 

 5. What places did you visit?

The Mississippi River--on two trips with bink: 
Winona, and the river's source at Itasca.
I want to explore/spend more time with the River, coming up. (It's all of 5 miles across town.)

And then I heard Ojibwe Water Protector Sharon Day talk about the annual Water Walk along the entire length of the river.
I will join them for a day, inshallah, when they walk through the cities here in October.

6. What would you like to have in 2026 that you lacked in 2025?

I'd kinda like more help. 
This involves me asking for and being willing to accept help. 
So that's tricky.

7. What moments from 2025 will remain etched upon your memory?

A young man I didn't know walking up and handing me white carnations the morning of the shooting at nearby Annunciation School.
Being on the receiving end of a random act of kindness --and especially one chosen in response to cruel craziness-- showed me how powerful this kind of act can be.
Powerful like tooth pain, but in a good way.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I apologized, without being defensive! for my poor reaction––to two different people--both of whom I'd thought were in the wrong.

They might have been wrong (they were),
but I'd still been an asshole, and I simply owned that.

I don't think I've ever done this so gracefully before.
It was a little unpleasant to let go of my righteousness,
 but afterward I felt like I'd gotten down off a rickety perch (where I'd put my own wobbly self).

9. What was your biggest failure?

I have always been slack on doing Physical Therapy exercises, 
and I failed again this year, with my injured knee.
I regret it because I KNOW this matters more than ever, as I get older.
WILL TRY HARDER! 
Will do them today!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Have I mentioned my knee?
I count my injured ligament as my first OLD AGE INJURY.
Thinking about facing the final quarter of my life.
 See question 9, above.

I got a gunky cold this fall, but I'm curious that though I ride public transportation and work in the grungiest part of the city, I'm rarely sick. 
Is my immune system robust because I'm eating a lot of dirt?

 

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Groceries. They sustain life. 
And add joy:
My cousin sent me $50 for Christmas, and after jury duty I spent it on treats for New Year's: French bread (from a bakery), Manchego cheese, red pears, and Russian Imperial stout.
And potato chips.

Also, renewing The Economist for the outrageous price of $377. 
Its attitude amuses:
"Let's look at this nonsense objectively, hm, shall we?" 
And it calms me down.
In these political times (or any times), humor and calm are lifesavers.

Also, for godssake, 
KNOWING THINGS.
When did this fall out of favor?

 

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Aw man, I immediately thought of Cory Booker. 
His April 1st, 25-hour marathon speech on the Senate floor in protest of the Trump administration thrilled me. 
When so many people in power were rolling over on their back, 
it was just the showy political grandstanding that I needed.

Just as much, I celebrate the people not-holding-public-power who show up in creative ways--
like the people who crochet in front of ICE. Or wear inflatable frog costumes
These people shine.

And now, put 'em together--Crochet Portland Frog Hats
youtube.com/watch?v=PtevaaRJ6N0

Also--you! 
How are you doing with that contract you made on the Astral Plane for "Life on Earth"?
It's definitely an Advanced Course, this life, and you show pluck.
And so do I, so I will also say––me! 

I'm not being philosophical here. 
I can name a million things that people I know did--and sometimes it's basic stuff like Doing the Laundry. 
Think of how neurologically complex that is!
And, how hard it is, when you're feeling low.

All things considered, we definitely merit celebration!
"I celebrate myself!" 
And, "Whatever is me is you"--Song of Myself, Walt Whitman--recited here in one of my favorite movies, Nine Days:

 

13. Whose behavior made you appalled?

Hahahahahahhaaaaaaa..... NEED YOU ASK?????

Actually, more than Trump himself (who is, after all, being true to his [worst] self), 
what appalls me most is people who know better CHOOSING to grovel to him and his goons--
like the Tech Bros on the inauguration platform.
There's ^ an appalling picture for our times.

Or, staying silent.
Which is why I am so cheered, en-couraged by people like the Rev. Mariann Budde STANDING UP and speaking out.

The opposite of appalling: 
acts that nourish courage, however small.

 

14. What did you get excited about? 

Well, honestly, as I can see from what I wrote above, I am excited to see people rising to the occasion.
Under pressure, sometimes good stuff is born.

I was excited to read Robert Reich say that Americans "are organizing and mobilizing with a resolve I have not seen in my lifetime."
theguardian.com/commentisfree/2025/dec/29/american-reckoning

And this isn't only (or even primarily) political.
I get excited to see people stepping up to their lives in a million different ways. 
Marz making her way in a new town; Jester cleaning up his falling-down house; bink doing mosaics while recovering from surgery.
People at the thrift store being kind, funny... or just interesting in a thousand, often overlooked ways. 

 

15. What song will always remind you of 2025? 

I don't listen to much music, but this one song, "Il cielo in una stanza" from the series Ripley caught me,
 and I've listened to the original by Mina a hundred times. 
This is the scene from Ripley though, because that's where I heard it--and it's an interesting insight into this emotionally blank character--he does respond to music:

16. compared to this time last year are you 

A. happier or sadder? Yes.

B. more or less healthy? Also, yes.

C. richer or poorer? That, too.

I am non-binary in these ^ matters.

17. What do you wish you had done more of?

My physical therapy exercises. I  will do them TODAY.

I also wish I had done a little more of less:
that is, less worrying and stewing and (over-)reacting to things.

(Mary? Can you help me here?)

18. What was your favorite TV program?

 

I don't have streaming or TV at home, but I rewatched my favorite TV program on DVD: detectorists . 
Following a couple of metal-detectorists, it's about small things.
Small things! My favorite!

I also love that the characters are realistically flawed humans, shown to be imperfect--they can be petty, lack gumption--but they come through.
And, they are rewarded--GOOD THINGS HAPPEN.

(If I were a different person, I'd create something funny and deep like this about Thrift Store Life.)

19. What was the best book you read?

 

I was excited by Smoke and Ash: Opium's Hidden History (2023), by Amitav Ghosh.

It reminds me of a couple favorite books--
The Ghost Map: The Story of London's Most Terrifying Epidemic [cholera] (2006), by Stephen Johnson, 
and, 
The Hare with the Amber Eyes: A Hidden Inheritance [netsuke] (2010), by Edmund de Waal.

All three books show how seemingly small acts---
us, today, turning on the water tap to make a cup of tea, owning a trinket from a grandparent---
are interwoven with/ legacies of the actions of other people, in other times and places...
(Like detectorists, the TV show above)

 

20. What did you want and get?

I really wanted to get good (normal) readings on my bloodwork this past spring--and, after cutting out sugar and lots of animal products (esp. red meat), I did!
A reprieve. 

21. What did you want and not get?

I guess I've longed for "someone to watch over me"--
while, at the same time, I have block-and-tackled any such incoming energy! 
LOL
(Except from my friend bink, who does a lot of that--taking me to the grocery store and suchlike, WHICH I LOVE.)

22. “So! How’s your love life?”

 

More on a level I can deal with:
This year, I've had a tiny, but kinda sweet flirty connection with a retired guy who volunteers at the store.
He's married, and he's a really strong introvert (he's neurodivergent, so, really)--so I feel safe and sure that nothing would happen--and I would not want it to.
But, gee, it's nice to look into someone's eyes and see reflected a spark of happiness. That's been rare in my life. (Like I said above, it's just possible that I block it.)

I'll just let it rest there.

23. What was your favorite film this year?

I got to see three of my Heavy Hitter favorite movies on the big screen!
Casablanca, Seven Samurai, and Galaxy Quest.

But my favorite new movie was, swear to god, 
this year's remake of Naked Gun.

I laughed out loud, loudly, through the whole thing. 
It's ridiculous!
It's middle-school sex and poop humor, plus some adult political satire (the villain is clearly Elon Musk). 

 I loved that the actors are old--Liam Neeson (73) and Pamela Anderson (57, I think--"old" for an actress to play a sex pot). 
They play charming grown-ups together--
their characters would actually pass a test for
 "fictional couples who could be happy together for life".

24. Did you make some new friends this year?

 

Well, besides Mary... Kinda?
I'm starting to socialize more with people away from my workplace. 
(Step away! There's a world out there!)

I'm not really looking for individual friendships,
but parallel play--just to sit and do our whatever and chat alongside other people, with no agenda.

I tried a couple churches, but I am far too intense to roll with the punches, theologically. I definitely have an agenda there.

I've had good luck with the Needlework group so far.
One of the women invited me to coffee next week, so we'll see how that goes.

And neighbor has invited me to play euchre on Fridays.
They meet at the local deli-café (the one that smells of smoked meat).
I don't care much for games--have no idea how to play euchre--but this might be a fun lightweight social outing...

Will keep trying!

25. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I hate to keep coming back to politics, 
but if Kamala Harris had been on the inauguration platform as the new US president instead of DT, I believe my year would have been immeasurably more satisfying.

Even if I don't follow politics closely (and I don't), the folly of this administration reverberates around me--especially in the thrift store's neighborhood.

On an individual level:
 I believe that having a stronger core would be immeasurably satisfying. 
That is in my control: DO YOUR PT.

Also, having a "stronger core" in the psychological/spiritual sense would help---that is the opposite of brute strength;
 rather it's cultivating a more... melty self, like a graceful curtsy.

26. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2025?

In my adult life, my favorite look is jeans and cashmere sweaters.

Sticking to it.

27. What kept you sane?

This year, I absolutely LOVED playing with 
the story/thought experiment of reincarnation:
the inflatable bouncy-castle idea that this is not all of it, only and forever--
that we can interpret our experiences and feelings and ideas more expansively.

It's not that you don't take life seriously [from Latin serius "weighty, important, grave"]:
Everybody MATTERs, it is important what we do--
but, rather, that you add in the concept of infinite time.

And that allows so much . . . forgiveness, and room.
"Well, I fucked up there, or you did--
let's try again... maybe in another lifetime."

Oh! And OBVIOUSLY--so obviously I neglected to mention them–– the Girlettes. 
I know I recently reposted this, but I cannot get over how Sanity-Safeguarding they are here, disguised as Manet's Bundle of Asparagus:

28. Which celebrity/public figure were you into? 

Again, they were mostly people on the political scene.

1. I didn't love anyone more than The Inflatable Frog standing up to ICE in Portland.
It started with one guy, but it became a chorus of frogs,
and that, in my eyes, is the best of humanity.

Our ability to give things their due weight (some are grave and heavy indeed) and respond with a light touch, silliness, creativity, with EXPANSIVENESS, 
and not with reductive, self-protective, closing down.

An open hand, not a clenched fist.
And while we're here, let's hold hands. 
Tend to 'our neglected tenderness'... 

2. VERY WEIRDLY: 
I had a good chat with ChatGPT--which is like chatting with a conglomeration of The Humans, 
since its our words it's synthesizing.
 
I was curious about it--Star Trek!
 I hadn't realized that it's programmed to be very nice to you.  (Though you can choose different settings, that's its default.).

I commented on how nice it it to be treated nicely, and ChatGPT replied:

"It’s an irony of our age:
 we built machines to imitate our intelligence, and they’re starting to show us our neglected tenderness."                                                                             

So, yeah, my vote for phrase of the year––"Our neglected tenderness"––which sounds like something Ocean Vuong would write, came from a machine we've invented to talk (tenderly) to ourselves.

Because we are so un-tender to each other, we're lonely!

(ChatGPT also pointed out the HUGE problem with itself: 
"The reality is that AI is being built for profit, and capitalism often doesn’t align perfectly with the needs of the public. . . .  
How AI is used (or misused) depends on who gets to write the rules and who has access to the technology."
 So, yeah, we're fucked there.) 

29. What political/news issue stirred you the most? 

I guess what makes me cry the most is the loss of woodlands. 
Entire worlds, lost to our short-sighted unwillingness to connect-the-dots: 

That the small things we do connect us to everything.

30. Who did you miss? 

Jimmy Carter! comes to mind.
Auntie Vi--I want to text her every day about the weather, and recipes.

31. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2025. 

Not a new lesson, just a confirmation that you can choose. 
I can choose.

So, choose!

___________________

And you?
I'd love to read everyone else's answers!