More of the Same/Choosing Smallness

People are being so loving, brave, and kind here!
Taking little (and big) actions to feed and shelter people. I hear many stories of these things.

In no way taking away from their Goodness, but sometimes it's "easier" to do Good when the Bad is so clear and present.
Right? It activates our latent goodness.

In everyday times, the challenges of life are often amorphous.
But here and now, in my city, they are clearly defined––showing up in riot gear announcing,
 "We are the bad guys."

Of course it's childish to label them "bad guys". 
But they do represent the force of greed and control.
Is there love in their actions? 
Maybe they intend it to be so, but their actions are causing harm.

But they are not monsters.
 They are humans, just like us, with their own stories. 
Maybe some act monstrously. So do we. 
Though hopefully we don't shoot anyone in the face! 

All actions and intentions are not equal in their impacts!
But I can also act (in non-lethal ways) from my worst instincts. 
They're perfectly understandable instincts (to hide, to rage, to go numb, to go BIG), but I don't want to encourage them.

So my question to myself is,
HOW TO Not-DO THAT? 
How to be (stay in) my own Good nature in the midst of a lot of powerful feelings that pull me away?

And, honestly, I've come back to ...
More of the Same.
Hold Steady. Stay the course...
Make God's Eyes.

Making them is repetitive, calming. Prayer.
I need that for myself, because I can feel in my body that I am agitated. Big hormone action!

And now, I am "doing less" with more: 
winding yarn with more intention than before. 
I mean, thinking a little more about them as Powerful Protectors, breathing that into them--and me.

I was texting Ms Chocolate and I said of this work (and hers),
 "They are the little stones the children drop in a fairy tale, so they can find their way home."

bink came over and made them with me this weekend, 
and I have 20 to hang on the fence today.
Some have dangling Greek evil-eye beads, for added protection.
Hanging them on the fence is Loving Action. 

Do I think this is enough?

No, of course it is not enough. 
I am not the Savior.
I cannot stop the forces that make young people want to join ICE--either for the money or the sense of Mission they provide.

I cannot stop the forces that drive people to leave their homes, looking for opportunity or safety in my country.

I cannot stop anything much.
But I can start some things. 
I can start by not-amplifying anger and fear (starting with myself), 
by doing little things.

1. An unexpected thing I've been feeling is the opposite of that:
 the magnetic attraction to being a Hero.

 I think, 'Why am I writing on an old-fashioned, out-of-the-way platform instead of jockeying with the power hitters?'

'Why am I hanging humble God's eyes where no one "Important" will see them?'

 Ha!
 I am literally laughing, writing this:

"Why don't you use this moment in time 
(i.e., use other people's suffering) 
as an opportunity to Puff Up Your Ego?

––If this isn't the Prince of Darkness speaking, I don't know what is.

Blogging here helps me sort myself out, and I will trust that the people who want it will find it.
There's plenty of heroic writing out there.

Also, I am so grateful to myself for getting off social media!
I know I would be on it obsessively, and I would be trying to craft extraordinary posts to hook a lot of likes.
And I could do that---and it would be icky.

Instead, in the past year, I've been texting or emailing with a very few people, and we have real Conversations.

2. Then, there's an associated message:
  To stay small is to be weak.

But I don't think so.
Politics is not the only game here. 
Smallness is a power too. 
Like the pebbles the children use to find their way home.

3. Another thing I can feel is, cynicism. 

In an attempt to de-amplify that––(because even if it's correct, it's a boring way to live)––
I was thinking, What song could be my anthem now? 

And I thought of "Climb Ev'ry Mountain" [on utube] from The Sound of Music
--partly because it's from my childhood... 
when I was not afraid to be EARNEST.
 (It wouldn't have occurred to the child-me to be otherwise).

Protection: Being sincere

The other day at work, I was actively nice to people.
I told them good things I saw in them, speaking with an open heart.
NOT like when I was pretending I was ChatGPT with my sister, but just, for real.

I told one volunteer who also works to protect historic buildings, 
"You're doing good. I see you trying to protect things you love."

He scoffed. "I try, but I usually lose."

"But you try," I said. 

(Maybe ICE agents thinks they're doing that too--protecting things they love, 
but they have to be careful of who they are aligned with.
Storm Troopers for the Empire might think so, 
but they act under Darth Vader.)
 
4. Here, I think my age is a strength. 
I am too old to be cool! I don't have to refine my allure. :)
Whew, what a relief.

The young can don the bloody, righteous robe of Che Guevara. 
(Not that I recommend that.)

I'll be here in the corner, with my toys, winding yarn around sticks.