Uff-da! I have hit a wall, emotionally – –have reached
peak peevishness 🙄😆—
perfectly predictable for people living under stressful conditions, even on the sidelines as I am
(this stress is like water—it gets everywhere—we all feel it at different intensities,
wherever we are,
like we can register distress signals
Maine, Ukraine, Sudan, etc)– –
and so I am taking a little break, changing the radio dial for ALSO (not only)
strengthening light waves.
I’ve been pressuring myself to keep reporting here most every day, for the historical record – – for myself as much as anything – –and I love doing that— but I need to recharge for a little while, or I’m going to go haywire…
(Reporting peevishness levels is another kind of journalism – – the emotional landscape kind.)
I turned off comments, to limit incoming energy jangling my nerves, but email is welcome. (Different wavelength, calmer)
Love ya’ll! Keep your little light shining. ❤️❤️❤️
Below: First God’s eyes made with bright acrylic yarn from Linda Sue, with accents of wool carpet yarn from k. Thank you, friends
we will not forget those for whom it comes too late.
I had hung ICE-warning whistle kits ^ on the fence next to my workplace in the morning. After work, one had fallen next to a sparrow, frozen in the snow.
That's how I see yesterday's change of ice leadership. I don't know how it's going to play out. But they blinked first. ______________________
Last night BedBear celebrated by claiming ALL THE YARN that had arrived from Linda Sue (thank you!). BedBear graciously grants that it may be used for God's eye making.
BELOW: Sister had sent me this photo of candle luminaries people set in the snow on Lake Nokomis--can you see the little people? The words 'ICE OUT' are big enough to be seen by the many airplanes flying into or out of the nearby international MSP airport.
BELOW: A sticker seen on my way to work: ICE OUT OF ORDER
Her security team tackles the guy coming toward her, but I noticed is she walked toward him too, with her fist up! Instead of closing down the event, she told her team,
"Please don't let them have the show."
Later she posted, “I don’t let bullies win. Grateful to my incredible constituents who rallied behind me.”
I can’t believe how emotional I am this evening, and have been today since hearing the news that the ice leader was stripped of his title (what a vivid word, stripped). And here's how I see that: They blinked first. Feeling feelings tonight makes me realize that for the past seven weeks, ever since the first ice raid in the neighborhood where I work, I’ve haven't been. I've been holding it together.
I’ve not been feeling much at all because every day I go to work, I am thinking/preparing,
What am I gonna do if ice comes and tries to take away some of my coworkers?
And so I’ve not been in a position to get all emotional – –it is an absolutely pointless waste of emotions to rage about Trump – – what I need my energy for is to hold it together, to stay in a suspended state of readiness – – so that I can have some kind of sane reaction if ice comes — so that I can try and be helpful and not make it worse for my vulnerable coworkers. And also how, myself, to not get pepper sprayed or arrested or shot.
But, weirdly, I couldn’t really see that that’s what I was doing until today.
Because today with some tiny respite, a slackening of tension – – who knows what will happen tomorrow, but today there is this tiny respite, this dim possibility of light on the horizon—not light itself, but the reminder of light—
all of a sudden I am absolutely enraged, and I’m crying even as I write this, with tears running down my face (I never really cry like that), and I see how hard this has been – – and how hard it will continue to be, to worry for other people in genuine harm’s way– –
and I’m just so so SO much appreciating people who celebrate this moment, who see and say:
You guys (or “we”) are doing it right.
You are having an effect.
Even if it’s just to a new bad, they shifted because of you.
And I am just staring to hope that if ice comes to my workplace – – (and I really am baffled as to why they haven’t already) – – that if they come under a new leader, they might actually listen to people when they say they are American citizens – – which all of my Hispanic African coworkers are – – and not drag them off anyway.
I don’t know – – but I dare to hope for that now, and also that it’s gonna be less likely that anyone will get shot!
and that hope made it a little bit —no, a lot, better to be at work today.
And I dropped the shield I didn’t even know I had up, and this well of emotion came up.
I don’t actually feel mad at Trump and the ice thugs – – they are playing out some crazy bad karma of their own which is so remote to me, I actually barely have any feelings about it.
(Thoughts, yes. Many many thoughts)
But feelings?
It’s like how I really don’t have any feelings about lizards.
No, I’m angry at people who are apathetic, or who are complaining but doing nothing;
or who are saying—I’ve literally had people say this to me – – “there’s nothing we can do”,
or, “that won’t make any difference”.
I’m even angry – – and I know this isn’t fair, I know it’s an expression of loving concern – –but I’m angry at being told to “stay safe” – – because you know what?
That might not be possible.
And I’m not even the one in direct danger—it’s people like my coworkers and their families who don’t get to CHOOSE whether they take a risk.
I am angry at a coworker who told me, when I told him about filming an ice action (from a distance),
“Be careful, it’s not worth dying for.”
And I said, “Really? What is worth dying for?”
And a customer who was standing nearby overhearing this, came up said to me, “thank you for what you did.” Which was like a million bucks NOT because it was praise (gross) but because he got it.
Now, I really did almost nothing, and I am not in the least bit interested in being a martyr! Or a hero. I am way to old to fall for the glamour of that bullshit.
But I’m not interested in being a coward either – – and look at how easily people have been martyred here.
They didn’t have to do anything!
So I DO know people meant it kindly – – if you said “stay safe” to me, omg, I’m totally not mad at that!
I’m really just mad at the insanity of the situation.
———
This is the crucible that will shape our future, shape who we are.
We will not become gold if we aren’t already gold, but whatever metal we are, we will be refined.
We will be burnished.
Or, we will become ash, god forbid, …but not without a blaze.
——
Today I got or saw two kinds of reactions to the news of ice leadership change and possibly a reduction of numbers of ice troops here. I’d say it was about half and half, who said which.
Some people said,
So what? It’s just more of the same.
Well, maybe so.
I see their point, from a political perspective.
And other people celebrated—NOT because it solves the problems—it doesn’t—but because it shows that we have power, …and we should keep on exercising it!
What a difference those two approaches made to me today, being actually in the middle of it.
To have people hold out hope and encouragement and say, yes, this is making some difference – of course of course of course it’s not over, it’s far from over – – but “you in Minnesota are doing something right, and keep doing it!
And I see you, and I support that!”
Or even just to say,
I don’t fucking know – – maybe it won’t get better – – but let’s be crazy and choose to believe it will!
And if we’re wrong, well…
we’ll still have placed our bets on the most beautiful horse.
———
After work today, I went into my local deli where I’ve been having a happy hour beer and weaving God’s eyes a couple times a week, since ice came to town. The owner, Kay, has been very very involved in the neighborhood – – a leader—and we have gotten to know each other a little.
I went up to the counter and I ordered my beer, and I said,
“Kay, is it gonna get better?”
Now, she’s politically sophisticated, and I also know enough to know that the realistic answer is,
‘gotta wait and see – –
gotta keep working – –
blah blah blah’.
She looked right at me,
and she said,
“Yes”.
———
Which is what this video below says. Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but it is going to get better. Because of what I see in so many absolutely average people around me – – and is the reason the regime can’t nail the resistance to any one leader or group, because it’s so decentralized—
It’s everyday people saying,
“wait a minute, this isn’t right.
I need to do something.”
Anything!
Like, “Gee, I guess the thing I need to do today is to stand in front of a moving tank. [In the video]
Guess I’d better do that.”
Or, get a piece of cardboard and making a sign and go out in subzero weather. Or clean out the food cupboards and take food to a mutual aid drop-off at a church or coffee shop. Or drive someone to work so they don’t get stopped by ice.
Or, or, or … a zillion little things that add up.
It’s going to get better, yes.
It’s going to get better because a whole lot of “anythings” done by entirely everyday people adds up.
————
Video Below: “The Trump regime is cooked”
I’ve said I don’t watch videos, but I do watch a very few people’s – including this woman’s (embedded below)--a permaculturist in Portland, OR.
I love her take on Minneapolis because it matches what I’m seeing—absolutely average people stepping up and not “looking for the helpers” but BEING the helpers.
You'll have seen by now--a friend just texted me---the big bad Border boss is leaving!!! Gregory Bovino has been "stripped of his specially created title of 'commander at large'”. AND... Trump “agreed to look into reducing the number of federal agents in
Minnesota and working with the state in a more coordinated fashion on
immigration enforcement regarding violent criminals”.
I know this isn't over, but no one should ever say protesting and resistance don't work! There is a lot more work to do. A LOT, on every front. Let us draw a breath, and then ...
Never give up! Never surrender!
[--Galaxy Quest, ya know] ____________________________
Before I'd heard that news, I'd posted...
I'd emailed a friend this morning:
Hello my longtime Nefarious friend!
This morning I am not less hopeful, but I am feeling less perky than usual. A little more frazzled. Not surprisingly.
I'd gone out for coffee with a friend yesterday morning and was commenting on how calm I've been feeling.
Then I saw a masked man coming into the coffee shop wearing a big camo coat and a black face mask, and my heart thudded into RED ALERT.
He looked like ICE, but he was just a customer on another below-zero morning.
Ha. So. Not so calm. Constantly vigilant. It vibrates down to your marrow. I had bad dreams last night.
Thank you for kindly passing along the Episcopal bishop's letter. *
I love the letter's opening line, "Like Jesus, we live in frightening times." I
suppose all times are frightening, but there are times of heightened
drama and awareness, and our time, now, certainly fits the bill. I HOPE it may be an opportunity we take to wake up a bit. Be well, my friend! Love you!
[end email]
__________________ I want to share this smattering of photos, for a little feel of life here in the past three weeks, since the surge of ICE came to town... Very little:I haven't taken many-- mostly because it's been so cold, also sometimes because my hands have been holding a sign or a candle at gatherings.
ABOVE:Whistle kits hang on the exit-way bulletin board at my workplace. bink's neighborhood group puts together hundreds of these kits, and she passes some on to me. They always get taken right away.
The baggies include a whistle on a neck cord, instructions (but don't
worry about it, just blow the thing), and a pin saying I
STAND WITH IMMIGRANTS. The pins' inverted blue triangle, "once a classification mark Nazis forced onto
migrants in concentration camps, has been adopted as a symbol of
solidarity and resistance." --via Witness at the Border witnessattheborder.org
_______________
Above:"I fight despair with resilience and light" -- poster by Abigail E. Penner abigailep.com in the window of an indie vintage shop. I
stopped in the shop with my "stop killing people" sign to warm up,
after signing on the corner. The young store-owner gave me a big hug. I
commented how nice people are being, and she said,
"Yeah.. I've been telling people, I can't wait till we go back to hating each other, like normal."
We laughed.
_______________
Above:A Bearcat armored vehicle, (left, red lights on top)
and other vehicles from ATF have blocked off the street in front of the
thrift store. They are searching (fruitlessly) for weapons stolen from
an ICE vehicle the night before. Right: 87-year old store volunteer,
Mildred, walks toward a city cop, who is advising her on how to drive
out of the parking lot. It is slippery out, and he walks her to her car.
_______________
Above: A pal at work shows me the sign he made at our workplace before he heads
out to the first big protest here, the Saturday after ICE murdered Renee
Nicole Good on January 7, 2026. (That's only three weeks ago, tomorrow.) The volunteer says the Vampire is Stephen Miller, and the Evil Witch is Kristi Noem. _______________
Above: A pink hearts package at my door greets
me when I return home. Inside is my old stuffed bear, Bed Bear,
returned from Duluth where he's been living with Marz, to keep me
company. ____________________
Above: A sunrise from friend'smorning walk. She sent it to me as a color reference for the God's eyes I've been making at the request of a different friend-- a reminder that the world keeps going...
And so do we.
____________________________
* From the bishop's letter my friend sent:
"Jesus knew what happens when earthly powers persuade human beings to
fear one another, regard one another as strangers, and believe that
there is not enough to go around. In Jesus’ time, the power of these
divisions motivated John’s beheading and Jesus’ own death on the cross
at the hands of Roman authorities.
"In our time, the deadly power of those divisions is on display on the
streets of Minneapolis, in other places across the United States, and
in other countries around the world.
As has too often been the case
throughout history, the most vulnerable among us are bearing the
burden, shouldering the greatest share of risk and loss, and enduring
the violation of their very humanity.
I just walked into my local coffee shop, above, and they are engaging in Nefarious Feed Your Neighbor activities!! They have dedicated an area where people can drop off food donations on Fridays and Saturdays – – and then they distribute them to people in hiding from ICE.
———-
What do I know about military strategy and psychology? Nothing much.
But I've seen stuff. We've seen stuff, right? Growing up during the Vietnam War, I saw that... The side that cares the most, wins. (Eventually.)
And in the Cold War, as military historian Sarah Paine * says, The side who gets tired first, loses.
The Twin Cities has HOME-GROUND ADVANTAGE. We care the most. And we are not going to get tired.
ICE? Do they even have a dog in this race?
This real-life, first-person shooter game must be fun ("fun") at times, but it must be getting tiring and, damn, it's cold! And slippery.
Any decent man must have some reservations in his heart, lying in bed at night. Or maybe he's too hopped up on dude-hormones to feel it now, but he will suffer later. (Not that that affects the outcome of the game in the moment, but it affects the long term.
Life, and history, is a long game. To win in any meaningful way––(to protect, or build, or repair a good society)–– you gotta play the long game.
I know this is not popular opinion, but I expect a lot these guys are (or would be) basically decent guys. They're not psychopaths. (Some are! but not most.) They're people in need of money and meaning, being manipulated by people who are NOT decent human beings. Yeah, they're dangerous dudes, but they're also dupes.
However, those in charge are hardly brilliant strategists. They are making so many mistakes. Don't let your goons murder young, pleasant-looking, innocent, do-gooders--and let,s be honest, especially not ones who are white!
And...
"Never get involved in a land war in Asia!" [Princess Bride, ya know.]
That is, a large cold continent with people who will engage in guerrilla combat. Minnesota, a state in the middle of a continent with scrappy inhabitants, seems close...
This poor strategy is to our advantage.
From an article from the Hoover Institute, Why Can’t America Win Its Wars?
From 2016--nothing to do with today, but related:
The American military today is in danger of revisiting the history of
the German military in the twentieth century—tactically and
operationally brilliant forces that nevertheless managed to lose two
world wars due to the inability of their leaders to think strategically.
Okay, folks, so--I don't read the news in-depth. I do look at it—here, a round/up of photos in today’s Guardian, who’s been doing a good job covering this:
Before I started working at the thrift store, I worked in libraries and publishing for thirty years. I'm a fact-checker, and I do diligent background reading.
(My opinions are my own—I try to keep those separate.)
But I don't flood myself with incoming horror.
I didn't watch the planes flying into the World Trade Towers until I saw it in the background of a movie two years later (The Barbarian Invasions, 2003). I've never watched the video of George Floyd's murder––or Renee Good's, or Alex Pretti's.
I know myself: too much would crash my operating system. I don't know how people who ingest horrific news all the time do function. (Some don't, of course. They consume news like watching sports: they don't get out there and play the game. But some people I know have a high tolerance--they do both.
Anyway, my news is friend-filtered: friends tell me all sorts of bits and pieces of writing. (Not usually video--it also floods the system.)
This morning, Krista (thank you!) texted a clip from today's "Letters from an American", by Heather Cox Richardson:
"Reports out of Minnesota say that in the face of the terror inflicted on it by federal agents, the people there are even more closely linked together in community solidarity.
They are patrolling the streets, donating food, delivering groceries, helping with legal services, organizing to look out for each other in a demonstration of community solidarity so foreign to administration figures that Attorney General Pam Bondi yesterday suggested that there was something nefarious about how well organized they are as they protect their neighbors." --heathercoxrichardson.substack.com/p/january-25-2026
Nefarious! I LOVE it! Something nefarious––wicked!–– about common human decency?
Who are these people?!! ___________________
I want to call my Sunday craft gathering, Nefarious Knitters.
So far none of the eight people who have come are knitters, primarily, but we can still claim it.
The etymology of "knit" is Old English cnyttan: "to tie with a knot, bind together, fasten by tying,"
Perfect. We are binding together--yarn, yes––but, more importantly, that stuff Pam Bondi doesn't seem to recognize: Love for neighbor.
Have a good day, ya'll: Love and Light! __________________
* I find Sarah Paine surprisingly compelling to watch-- even for two hours, as here "Why Russia Lost the Cold War" youtube.com/watch?v=FdkpWrlR5zg&t=32s --exhaustion was part of it.
Paine starts with the claim that Ronald Reagan won the Cold War--which Trump promotes in one of the plaques he wrote to attend presidential portraits. (Trump reminds me of comic cock-ups like Costello, of Abbott and... Except his slapstick really lands--those are real bone-breakers.)
But yeah, the US build-up of arms under Reagan (started with Jimmy Carter!) did drain the Soviet economy to exhaustion. And Reagan's speeches WERE great. "Mr, Gorbachev, pull down this wall."
"Why are we singing this insipid children's song?" I thought in annoyance at the multi-faith service on ICE-Out strike day, two days ago. I joined in, anyway... If Senator Amy Klobuchar can sing this earnestly, I can too.
And then at last night's candlelight vigil for Alex Pretti (and all), I called out to the crowd, "Let's sing This Little Light of Mine!" The very same song. And we did.
I NEVER thought I would find myself leading a sing-song at a vigil. What happened was...
(My god, this is all happening so fast.) Yesterday after I blogged, I got the message that ICE had murdered a second Twin Citian: Alex Pretti. (You'll have heard, so I won't repeat the details.)
Stunned, I went back to bed and slept for three hours. Sleep is my go-to drug.
I woke up, dressed up warm, and went out to find sticks for making God's eyes. On my way home, I stopped and said hello to a woman standing with a handwritten cardboard sign–– ICE IS FUCKING DANGEROUS-- at the busy street corner where people always Sign for Democracy on Mondays. People were taking shifts all yesterday (Saturday) too.
I imagine they were coordinating on Signal. I don't want to be on Signal, but it turns out that being on Foot works just as well.
I scootled myself home, made a sign in 4 minutes (“stop killing people”), and went back out. The woman was gone, so I stood by myself as long as I could stand the cold---only about 20 minutes--but it was heartening. Almost every vehicle driving past honked, and many waved, or both---including the CITY BUS DRIVER!!! Love, love, love.
And simply taking physical action helped me enormously.
Here, I want to say, we in the Twin Cities and other places where Ice is active, have a psychological advantage in this crazy time: There are things we can DO.
Talking to friends in other places, I see they suffer from watching and worrying from afar.
Of course they can and do do other things! Write to their reps, donate to Mutual Aid, pray, make art, light candles---send messages of love and support, and of course some places hold protests too. IT all HELPS. It matters!
Hitting the streets is a physical boost that we have at our toe-tips, and it is a win/win: When you take one tiny step toward bravery, you are met with a wave of other people taking their tiny steps, and we all are carried along together. And we rise.
I think it's important that at this time we dig deep in ourselves and find our own bravery.
"Look", I want to say to people who feel hopeless-- "SOME ancestor of yours was a member of the Resistance."
They got on a boat, or they got thrown in a boat, or they met an alien boat---but do you think they did any of that passively? Maybe some? But SOMEONE was brave. Many, many of our people were brave.
Where there was a bum deal or a real jackass, someone resisted---maybe only in a tiny invisible way—you can count on that.
My own Sicilian grandmother trapped in a marriage to a violent brute, my grandfather, used to put salt in the sugar bowl when he brought his cronies home for coffee---and she used to STARCH his undershorts! To make them rub uncomfortably.
What I want to suggest is, We can ask those ancestors to help us Find Our Brave.
It is yours, and it will arise from your own life, and it will look like you. And it will help us all, even if it feels like it's too small to matter.
It's not, and it will.
So, what I found myself doing at the candlelight vigil last night was...
I'd taken a hot bath to warm up after the street corner sign-ing; got dressed in fresh dry clothes (the ones I’d been wearing were damp with sweat because I'd been jumping up and down, to stay warm---while my toes froze!); got my battery-operated candle that Alice had given me for Christmas (I'd thought, Oh, I don't want that, and had intended to donate it---thankfully I hadn't!!!!); and headed out to MLK Park.
I expected to hear singing, but when I got there, the large crowd holding candles was circled around an open space on a hill, where a sort of altar to commemorate Alex Pretti was set up. People were chatting quietly among themselves.
I walked around looked for The People in Charge to suggest that they should get people singing, but there didn't seem to be anyone in charge. This all happened so fast, within hours... Even with Signal, no one was Running the Show.
So, WITH HUGE RELUCTANCE, I walked into the empty circle on the snowy slope. I pulled up the lyrics to "We Shall Overcome" on my iphone (your phone works great, you fuckers!). And then I stood there, frozen with fear. I am NO singer! I try to avoid leadership, generally.
But I thought, 'If you don't do this, you will forever regret it', so I called up my Big Girl Voice, and I called out to the crowd,
"Hey, everybody! Do you want to sing? Do you want to sing We Shall Overcome?"
And this lovely young woman--maybe twenty? smiled at me and said, "I do."
I tell ya. I have been feeling Large Forces at work in these days. I think there's angels and archangels and Bodhisattvas--call them what you will: just plain old humans being our best selves. But you know how I've been saying Mary (Jesus' mom) has come as a friend to me this past year? Well, looking back, this girl felt like Mary.
WHATEVER you name this energy, it was good, and she strengthened me.
I launched into this song, and a few people sang along, and at the second verse I called out,
"I know we're Minnesotans, but we can do better than that!"
People laughed, and more joined it.
Next I said, "This Little Light of Mine"-- and thank you, whoever chose that ridiculous song for the multi-faith service, because a couple hundred people holding lights in the darkness sang it out.
All along, this girl, my Mary, sang and smiled a little gentle smile at me.
After a few songs, we dispersed, and she came up and thanked me, and hugged me, and I said,
"Your smile got me through."
So I'm telling you: You don't have to be an action hero! You
don't have to take a bullet. Maybe you will be given the grace and the
opportunity to smile at someone. And-- believe it, my friends--if that comes to you, that's going to be
I want to say, I feel dismayed and even angry when people say things like, our country is doomed, or democracy is dead.
No!
The mood here in Minneapolis is united and strong – angry— and frightened, yes—but mostly, I see, fiercely resistant!
A friend was saying “We can do it. and —(I can’t believe I said this! 😄)— I replied, “Yes! Remember the spirit of Valley Forge!”
Valley Forge??? 🙄 Lol
I but yes, I am calling up my 5th grade American 🇺🇸 history , and I claim that spirit. And I thought of Valley Forge because it was damn cold there – – and it is here too!
I went out signing for about 20 minutes at a near busy intersection before I got too cold with my handmade sign – – I decided it was not a time for clever signage, so I made this as blunt as possible.
MOST passing traffic honked and waved—including the city bus driver!!!
– and I’m about to go out again to the 7 PM rallies held all across the city and state at everybody’s local park.
Don’t be a doom sayer. Show some spirit! Light a spark for us—and yourselves! Fire 🔥 it up!
When I heard of the murder by ice today – – just a couple blocks from where I used to live for 17 years – – I just shut down. I went to bed and slept for three hours.
Woke up and thought, This murder feels like retribution by desperate men.
I texted with a lot of friends – – one of them sent me this SNL news skit about ICE falling on ice.
I really didn’t think I wanted to laugh, but I did laugh, and I felt a little oxygen return to my collapsed brain. So I’m sharing it here with you too:
And now I’m going to bundle up and go outside in the cold sunshine and look for sticks to wrap yarn around. Because I believe the universe when it signaled that I should keep doing what I’m doing – – trying to “Stay, and be beautiful.”
Wherever we are, we’re all in this world together, and I send love and oxygen to you all.
Well, my friends, I tell ya, I'm feeling a little shaky this Saturday morning. As the ICE occupation of my city and state goes on and on-- I remember the first big raid near my workplace before Christmas-- having come here from Chicago, LA, Portland, etc. ...and as it spreads to other places––(Maine, now)–– my very cells feel jangled.
I. ICE Out Strike and Rally
Yesterday, I did not brave the subzero cold and go to the rally downtown, but thousands did--as many as 50,000. Imagine how many more of us there'd've been if it'd been above zero!
I was afraid of literally freezing my toes, of I'd have gone. A friend who went pooh-poohed the weather:
"Negative fifteen? Good skating weather!"
I love that Midwestern attitude. There was a sit-in at City Hall in Duluth. Marz said she'd made a protest sign on a snow shovel.
A pal from work sent me this poster from the rally--you remember the Morton salt girl? (She's carrying the new state flag.)
Another friend sent this--the MN state bird, the loon, fashioned into the Star Wars resistance emblem.
I was impressed with Big Boss. He decided to close
the thrift store–– AND to say why. This is not his usual way--he has always avoided involving the store in anything political. But signs on our door read,
Closed in Support of Our Neighbors.
I told him, "You did a good thing, boss". Always love to use a movie quote when I can. (Whoops--looked it up and it's, "Boss, you did a beautiful thing". Eh, close enough.)
Casablanca, you know? Above: Sasha, the Russian bartender, says it to Rick and kisses him, after
Rick lets a refugee win at roulette (so the refugee wife doesn't have
to sleep with Claude Rains in exchage for exit visas).
II. But I didn't do nothing. In the morning, I went with L & M to a multi-faith service at a major synagogue, Temple Israel.
It kicked up my acceptance that THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING, to see a pewful of politicians, including Senator Amy Klobuchar-–(she's running for governor, since Walz has withdrawn), and former mayor Rybak.
On the bima (platform) were around a hundred Jewish, Muslim, Christian clergy. Many had come from other states. After the service, I talked to a woman rabbi about her snow pants--I was wearing my bright lemon-green ones. She said she was from California but is a skier. She'd been skiing in Colorado when she got the call to come to this event, so she left her car and flew here--with her ski clothes.
The Rev. Mariann Budde, Episcopal bishop of Wash. DC, had come too. The crowd stood and applauded her for a couple minutes.
Meanwhile, other clergy had gone to the airport to join a protest against ICE flights transporting detainees to other states, like Texas. Dozens of the protestors were arrested, many of the clergy while singing on their knees in the freezing cold.
The audience at the multifaith service was mostly well-coiffed (extremely), and well-off. Seeing all these politically and socially powerful people gathered, I accepted at a deeper level that it isn't just my poor old beleaguered workplace and its scrappy, tattered neighborhood that is under siege.
Yes, I knew that intellectually, but it takes a while for radical change to soak in, all the way down.
Meanwhile, I had a reality check: I'd been waiting for the week's Economist, thinking we would feature big. Of course not. The lead story is, rightfully, Horror in Iran. ICE in Minnesota got a half-page article about the legal issues surrounding bringing federal agents to trial for murder.
We are just a blip of distress in a distressed world.
III. Worst of all was finding out a couple days ago that a former coworker--the sweetest, hardest-working person imaginable-- has been hiding at home for a month with their family. They have LEGAL papers to work here, but a lawyer told them it's not enough to stop ICE from deporting them.
The day we found out, I gathered donated personal-care supplies from the store--toothpaste, kotex, dish soap, etc.–– and some of us added some cash--to send along with their groceries (someone outside the store is delivering).
I know their kid likes Hello Kitty, so the Toys dept. dug up a couple of HK toys, and I put them in a gift bag. I felt like I was sending a package to Anne Frank.
So, with that, I'm reeling.
IV. I just wrote to a dear friend who sends me smart political videos:
"Thanks for thinking of me, to send me videos – – I should let you know that I'm not watching political videos.
They just upset me further, and I’m trying to limit that!
It’s so shocking, being under attack by one’s own government. It’s not something foreseeable, unlike the Covid pandemic – – even a slight acquaintance with science or science-fiction let us know that was going to come someday (and will come again).
Or George Floyd's murder, which was for me, a white liberal, an eye-opening racist event, yes––an intensification; but I did already know racism was prevalent in my city.
But this? No. Even though before the presidential election we made references to a coming Civil War, in truth, no, I did not foresee being under attack by my own government, with federal troops wreaking havoc, sowing fear and economic disaster.
I imagine my workplace will muddle through, pleasegod, though sales are way, way down,
but we give the profits (slim but not nothing) to the church groups that then distribute them as rent and food helped to individuals – – I doubt we’ll have any of that…
So, please feel free to send me videos of funny animals!
I do appreciate ❤️your thoughtfulness and friendship!!!
___________________ Above: Sunrise God's eyes on the fence by work
V. Amid all that, I also got a most welcome message from the Universe:
Keep doing what you're doing.
I think I've said (many times?), I wrestle with the pull to DO MORE, Be Bigger, More Important.
While there is, of course, genuine Big, Important Work to be done, for me that pull is a pull toward ego satisfaction-- a magnet to draw attention and praise to myself (the force that seems to be Trump's whole raison d'etre). It feels icky, and I just don't believe it's my real calling.
In recent years, I've felt that I'm in the right place, under the radar, working at my crummy job I love. But sometimes I can feel a stab of envy of my age-and-class cohort's worldly standing. It can be galling.
And the envy comes with a message: You are doing it wrong.
(Possibly you have gotten this message yourself?)
To keep it short---about 20 years ago, a man did me a small kindness. It was a tiny thing, but he did it with such an open heart, so unthinkingly, with such grace, I was stunned, even in the moment, and I never forgot it. It has remained near the top of my 'Humanity Is Not All Bad' list.
I see I'm trying to avoid saying what he did, but I'll just say it: At a fundraising dinner, I'd been working the door, and when I was done, the buffet was almost empty.
My pal introduced to to this man, who had a skewer of chicken satay on his plate, and I said, "Oh you should give me your chicken".
And he did. He just handed it over as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
I don't know how to convey how weird that was. Usually a person would make a little joke or something, but his response was so entirely without ego, it made me realize that I never experience that, much less DO it myself.
I've never been face to face with him again--until yesterday. I saw him in the pews at the faith service. He's recognizable because he looks like a Charlie Brown character, grown up, in a bow tie.
Afterward I looked for him at the coffee-and-scones gathering, but I didn't see him. Resigned that he must have left, I was getting ready to leave myself, standing by the exit, when he came walking toward me.
I had stuffed a few God's eyes in my bag as I was leaving the house that morning, thinking I would give them away if I saw anyone I knew. (I did, too.)
So I got them out and went up to this man in great joy, reminded him of his kindness in giving me his chicken skewer (knowing it was so fleeting he wouldn't remember it or me, and indeed he didn't, though he was very sweet), and asked him if he'd like one.
"It's also on a stick!" I said.
He was so unguarded, just like I remembered. He said he was sure I'd thanked him sufficiently at the time, and he chose one of the sunrise eyes---which I've been making because a friend asked for one in hopeful sun colors. And he gave me a hug.
And so, twenty years later, at the right time and place, I got to give thanks for a gift--and received another--a counter-message to Envy: Keep doing what you are doing. The threads will come together.
How you know things are different now: You ask a Minnesotan how they are, and they don't say, "Fine".
Now, they, and I, say things like, "Well . . . ".
A famously touchy customer at the thrift store where I work, snapped at me, "How do you think I am?"
"Probably like the rest of us," I said, and she apologized.
All my Hispanic and African coworkers are US citizens, some born here to immigrant parents. But ICE is picking up anyone.
A favorite coworker grew up in Mexico. She is always teaching me bits of Spanish (which I barely retain).
At work, I myself often used to say I was "super great!"
"How you you say 'super great'?" I'd asked her. "¡Super bien!" That I remember.
Yesterday I asked how her family is. She grimaced. "I want this to stop."
"How do you say 'stop' in Spanish?"
"Parar", she said.
Another coworker added, "cosas malas parar". bad things stop
_______________ II. Some photos from East Lake Street
East Lake has long been home to immigrant communities--Scandinavian, one hundred-plus years ago. Five blocks down the street from the thrift store, Ingebretsen's Nordic Marketplace remains. Mr Ingebretsen from Norway established it in 1921. (It does lots of its business online--which is how it survived Covid.) [Their history: ingebretsens.com/our-anniversary]
In recent years, Hispanic and Somali small businesses line the street. They took a big hit during the George Floyd uprisings--literally. Windows broken (as were the thrift store's), fires, loss of business. And Covid, of course. Lake Street had only recently started to feel really vital again--new murals, lots of little shops and restaurants--food trucks. Real 'mom-and-pop' establishments.
ICE has seized customers and workers with no concern for their legal status) in the past months. Many shops are closed and dark, . . . for now.
The sign's circle-dotted i's ^ make my heart clench. They are like a girl would write in her diary. ___________
BELOW: Signs posted all around Midtown Global Market for the statewide ICE Out for Good strike tomorrow, Friday, Jan. 23: No Work, No School, No Shopping. A rally downtown is planned, but temps will be well below zero F (–18ºC). Amazingly, even the thrift store is closing. They rarely take a stand. As much as anything, I expect they figure it's pointless to stay open.
Besides being an act of solidarity for us on the ground floor...
"Organizers hope that 'the CEOs of all these corporations that are based in Minnesota take notice'. Large US corporations headquartered in Minnesota include Target, Best Buy, United Healthcare and General Mills". --"Economic blackout day planned in Minnesota to protest ICE surge", The Guardian, 1/20/2026, theguardian.com/us-news/2026/jan/20/ice-immigrarion-minnesota-economic-protest
__________ BELOW: The white star on blue is the Somali flag. A little square on the "WE ARE FAMILY" poster reads:
LOVE HOPE R I S E
I can't find anything about the origin of the ^ FAMILY poster, but it showed up after ICE agent Jonathan Ross shot Renee Good through her car window. The butterfly pattern looks to me like glass cracked by a bullet.
I'm put in mind of this because of the crazed hole in our store window. From a gunshot in the night--drug dealers, most likely. Accidental it seems--someone doing street business told a coworker they had nothing against us, and I believe that. They shop at the store!
It's been there a couple years. From outside the store at Christmastime: Poinsettias frame the bullet hole
III. Lady Whistledown Regrets
A friend sent me this--their neighbor was going to have a party for the opening of season 4 of Bridgerton, but cancelled because of ICE. The neighbor sent out this notice:
Lady Whistledown SOCIETY PAPERS
Dearest Gentle Reader,
It is with a decidedly heavy quill that this author must share news most unwelcome.
Circumstances beyond the control of even the most carefully governed household have arisen. A foreign invasion upon the kingdom—unexpected and deeply unsettling—has rendered the realm quite unjolly indeed, casting to the wind some who are most dear to us and dampening spirits that ought instead to be lifted in good company.
In light of this disruption, the forthcoming Bridgerton viewing party must be postponed.
Society may rest assured this delay is not born of indifference, but of care. Merriment, after all, is best enjoyed when all may attend freely, safely, and with hearts inclined toward joy rather than worry.
Fear not, dear reader. The candles shall be relit, the cushions fluffed, and the tiaras returned to their rightful place in due course. When the kingdom is once again settled—and when all who matter most can gather beneath one roof—this author fully expects our revels to resume with even greater enthusiasm.
Until that happier moment arrives, take care of one another, keep those you cherish close, and remember: the season is merely paused, not concluded.
Yours sincerely, Lady Whistledown 🪶 _________________________ I understand this person is too distressed to hold a party, and I sympathize.
I don’t agree that merriment is best enjoyed in safety though – – we need joy in these conditions.
But I 100% understand if a person isn’t up for it! Often I’m not either.
________
Okay, Precious Spirits--I'm off to work. Will try to take more photos. I would do a Photo Walk, but it's so damn cold! You take good care of yourselves and one another!
I've been making Sunrises since a friend in another state asked for a sunny God's eye, for hope. (Did I already say? Besides everything else, one of her former students had been killed in December's mass shooting at Brown U.)
I'm sending her this one.
I don't usually add tassels. At first because I didn't want to spend the time, since I was making so many for the first fence installation. Do you like them?
I've been wondering about weaving yarn into the fence where I hang the eyes--the side facing the busy street... A local yarn-bomb artist, HOTTEA (www.instagram.com/hotxtea), has woven in his signature font in bright yellow-green yarn on the chain link fence of a major intersection:
RENEE NICOLE GOOD.
I was thinking of weaving in yarn,
God Is Watching. The phrase is both a comfort and a threat, depending on what you're doing... It also fits the neighborhood: many (most?) people under direct threat are Catholic & Muslim (same God).
And it goes along with the vibe of people saying to ICE agents things like, "See you at Nuremberg". (Such good timing that that movie about Göring on trial recently came about.) ____________
My neighborhood association held an open meeting this
past weekend for neighbors to coordinate action plans and other responses to ICE.
I went to
Needlework instead, but I was happy to get their resource list on email
today.
I want to make a new sign to join street corner demonstrations in my neighborhood. Since Trump's inauguration last year, people have been signing on different busy corners during rush hour. Now another site has been added--a pedestrian bridge over the highway.
"God" would not fit as well in this mostly Anglo white, middle-class neighborhood. Maybe Karma Bites Back.
Or, less threatening, because karma is everything, not just the unloving acts. Karma Doesn't Miss.
KARMA . …WAIT FOR IT.
Or something. Short is best. I will ponder... (Ideas welcome.) __________ I mentioned the busy street by the store. It's not so busy now--many immigrant-run store fronts are dark as either workers or customers are at risk, and stay home.
The thrift store's business is down 50%. Not good. (ICE has not descended on us ...yet.) How is this going to play out if they stay very long???
It's been extremely cold here lately--well below freezing. When it
warms up to above 32ºF, I will go make God's eyes at the Whipple Federal
Building. There is an ongoing protest there.
People warn
you to come prepared with mask, goggles, and a plan in case you're
arrested. ICE isn't supposed to use tear gas and pepper spray anymore,
but who believes they won't?
My friend KG said she'd like to go with me--she could bring camping chairs! I'll have to check if that's legal--I never see people sitting. Is it obstruction of the sidewalk or something?
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