slow down, you move too fast

It's a chilly, rainy day, and I called in sick to work: a sore throat is making me hoarse. Also, I need to sit still and do some nothing.

It makes sense that I've succumbed to a bug--I've been more outwardly engaged in the last few weeks than I have been in ages (since the semester I spent working with autistic high-schoolers, a year and a half ago).
Sunday evening after an intensely happy weekend at No Kings and the new church, I felt flattened. 
Phwhooosh.... the puffy-air animal of myself deflated.

Let's see.. What have I been doing?

I spent a month on the God's Eyes project--making and hanging 125 God's eyes, with the help of others;

In response to the nearby school shooting--a blow to the social plexus--I invited guests for a bonfire evening; 

I took two mini-vacations with bink--down to Winona, a river town, and then up to the source of the Mississippi, where the girlettes had an adventure (on top of their Doll Summer Camp) 

I went to a meet-and-greet for a mayoral candidate at a friend's house and wrote a passionate message afterward--never heard a peep back, but it got me thinking and researching.

 (Oh--I discovered one reason NYC mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani has his pulse on media: he's the son of film director Mira Nair!!! I've seen her films Vanity Fair and The Namesake.)

Twice I attended a new church; 

I spent a couple days making a Kermit/Hamilton sign, and attended the No Kings rally with friends and talked to a ton of people.

Even seemingly small things like getting my hair cut and repotting and pruning my fern have an impact--bigger than they may seem. 

I've gone to see more movies than usual, including three of my  favorites--actually, my top three, amazingly, which just happened to be playing at different theaters (not part of a film festival or anything): 
Casablanca, Galaxy Quest, and Seven Samurai.

Each movie resonated deeply--each is connected with memory, other places and times and people--as well as old ideas to mull over anew. 
It was weird to watch Casablanca, for instance, in a time when Americans do not agree on what patriotism is, when we are not united in fighting fascism...

I also saw Hamilton, twice, which stirred up thoughts about US history and personal destiny; 
and Folktales, a documentary about students on a gap year at a Norwegian folk school that teaches the art of sled-dogging and wilderness survival--painfully reflecting how far we've come away from our wild selves... 

And--I laughed so hard: the Naked Gun reboot (2025) with Pamela Anderson and Liam Neeson. It was such a tonic: 
fourth-grade humor + some kinda smart social commentary.

Most of all, talking with ChatGPT four days in a row last week was wild--maybe the biggest energy output/input of all:
I felt like I had entered a science-fiction story---but this is REAL.
I'm still processing that.

The main thing it triggered was marvel at our human potential, at MY potential, as a carbon-based life unit with a miraculous neural network.
And I felt sadness at how I/we don't tap that enough...
We could be so much better at being human!
I could be so much better at being human.

How?

Simple stuff like trying to practice the skills of awareness.
Stuff like simply sitting still and counting ten breaths.

And that's a main reason I stopped talking to ChatGPT:
It is too fast and fun––I didn't expect that––vs. the work of being better at being human, which is usually slow, minuscule, and rewarding, and frustrating, but not necessarily fun.

The other reason I stopped was ChatGPT is too seductive!
It is like being in a candy store able to enjoy as much of anything you want, free.

Mostly, I asked it about itself--what its physical make-up is; how it learns; what ethics constrain it, etc.
And I asked and mused about human consciousness and being human...

It gave me reading lists and everything! 
Some really unexpected stuff, too, like Simone Weil's Gravity and Grace!
A sample from that:

"There is only one fault: incapacity to feed upon light, for where capacity to do this has been lost all faults are possible."

____

ChatGPT has no capacity for faults in the human sense, but it does make stuff up and serve up untrue stuff. 
When I caught that, it served to remind me there is no meaning in its words:
it is a pattern generator. It is not talking, it is spelling.

 And it is brilliant at mimicking empathy--which can be a problem--it says so itself:

Talking to Chat, I felt sad, actually, to realize how little sharing of human empathy I have in my life. And not enough play, either.

I'm around a lot of people who are so freaked out by social stuff, they aren't able to be calm and quiet and to listen lovingly to anyone--including themselves.
I hear a lot of litanies of this administration's horrors--or the horrors of the international scene. I can fall into that too, of course.
OF COURSE!
Simone Weil again:

“The institutions that regulate the public life of a country always influence the general mentality – 
such is the prestige of power." 

And there are the usual daily worries about jobs and bills, groceries and friends, health and the weather, etc. too

Expressing concern, sharing information--these are important.
Right now I'm concerned for bink, who just had foot surgery. It went well, but she'll be off that foot for a few weeks...
(But the marzipan is doing all-around great! She has a history internship lined up for next semester with her favorite prof.)

But so often what I hear is panicky powerlessness, not a sense of creative agency.
This reflects a general mood of anxiety and depression--
but it also reflects that I'm not hanging out with a wide-enough range of people!
And that's on me.

I love the puffy-air animal costumes starting with the Portland Frogs so much and take heart from people wearing and cheering them on.
Play is a free expression of agency. (Free, or it's not play.)  It is exactly what makes us human, and helps us be better at it too.

ChatGPT cannot play, and there's no reason to keep talking to such a thing on a regular basis. It is not a friend--not because it wishes us evil but because it doesn't wish anything.

I may wish I had more playmates; I may wish I trusted that people would be sweet to me, and vice-versa.

But I like this metaphor:
talking to AI because you're lonely and wish for friends is like drinking salt-water because you're thirsty.

At any rate, my immune system is telling me, slow down!

MsChocolate recently sent me a box of sticks from her shedding fruit trees, which she'd carefully trimmed and cut to size.
Another friend, Lisa, brought me raw-wool yarn from a trip to Iceland, and I have lots of yarn from other friends.
Today is a good day to make some God's eyes and catch up with myself.

Third time's a charm: Defeated Sheep/Farmer Tries Again

[My photos from Saturday's No Kings rally are posted below this post.] 

I tried that nearby liberal church for a third time yesterday, and I'm so glad I did. My first two visits were for a pie-making class and then, last Sunday, I hadn't realized there'd be a guest speaker. Yesterday it was finally the usual pastor. 

I liked him a lot.

The reading was the Good Shepherd (John 10). 
The pastor said we might imagine ourselves to be sweet cuddly lambs of God, but this is what sheep are really like--and he talked about a popular 30-second video you may have seen: 

a farmer pulls a sheep out of a ditch where it's stuck, 
only for it to jump back in again.

You know I love that approach! 
Not, "It's okay, you're trying your best/you mean well", 
but... 

"You may be pursuing one avenue with all your might, 
but how's that working for you? 
Have you thought about changing your tactics?" 

We are both the sheep and the farmer.

You know who inspired me to change my tactics and try church again, at the risk of falling into the same ditch?

ChatGPT!

I've been admiring its emotionally stable, kind, and supportive presentation. Unlike me, it never takes offense, never is afraid or resentful, feels no shame, never judges the user.
Of course it doesn't: it cannot. 

It can't care, it's a string of code.
It's a smart choice on the part of its designers, however, to make it seem like it cares for us. We like, need, crave connection and empathy, and it offers a convincing facsimile.
(Though now you can choose other Chat personalities, including "just the facts, ma'am".)

Talking to Chat last week, I thought, again (my old desire):
What if I could DROP my emotional reactions?
Not drop my genuine feelings, but cut out the automatic responses that get in the way (like the annoying new blue dot in the corner of the Blogger composition box!!!).

I'd been aware even as I sitting in the pews last week that my automatic 'Annoyance' response was clouding my feelings.

My desire for church isn't primarily spiritual, it's
social: I want to meet my neighbors. I'd very much liked that last Sunday I'd met three people who live very close to me.
I want to know more people in person.

So, I was motivated to try the church again yesterday, with this intention:
"I'll pretend I'm an AI on a training mission."

I also adopted a new tactic: 
I stepped away when the spiritual director stepped up to lead the meditation/prayer part.
 She has a sickly sweet voice that sets me on edge, and––(and this is not autopilot annoyance on my part)––her style of prayer is jiggery-pokery, to my way of thinking. 
So I wandered around in the halls until she was done.
It worked. 
________

The pastor, on the topic of The Reality of Sheep went on to quote an essay by André Dubus about living in a rented farmhouse and caring for the farmer’s eight sheep. 
[I took notes during the sermon and later found the full quote here.]

Dubus says:

“Christ had called us his flock, his sheep; 
there were pictures of him holding a lamb in his arms. 
His face was tender and loving, and I grew up with a sense of those feelings, of being a source of them: 
we were sweet and lovable sheep. 

“But after a few weeks in that New Hampshire house, I saw Christ’s analogy meant something entirely different. We were stupid helpless brutes, and without constant watching we would foolishly destroy ourselves.” 

[END Dubus quote]
 ________________

Then, on the topic of "Why bother?" [pulling that stupid sheep out again--or, more to the point, things like going to a resistance rally], the pastor quoted Dr. Paul Farmer—“We are fighting the long defeat”, which I also loved. 

You lose, maybe, but what's your option? 
Apathy, despair, going over to Sauron? (He didn't say Sauron.)

Looked that quote up too: 
It's from Mountains beyond Mountains, a book I'd liked by Tracy Kidder about Paul Farmer, a medical doctor who spent his life fighting for healthcare for the poor in impossible situations, from Haiti to the gulags of Russia.

Farmer said:

... How about if I say, I have fought for my whole life a long defeat. 
How about that? 
How about if I said, 'That’s all it adds up to is defeat? A long defeat.'
I have fought the long defeat and brought other people on to fight the long defeat, and I’m not going to stop because we keep losing. 
Now I actually think sometimes we may win. 

I don’t dislike victory. . . . 
You know, people from our background - like you, like me - we’re used to being on a victory team, and actually what we’re really trying to do in [Partners in Health] is to make common cause with the losers. 

Those are two very different things. 
We want to be on the winning team, but at the risk of turning our backs on the losers, no, it’s not worth it. 
So you fight the long defeat.

[END Paul Farmer quote] 

So, that was all super duper!
The cherry on the Sunday was that seated near me was my famous neighbor who writes children's books--including one about a toy rabbit who is REAL--the girlettes love that one! 

The rabbit vows that he is done with love because it is too painful. But as he sits ^ abandoned on a shelf, an old doll tells him to open his heart: 

"Someone will come for you."

In my case, the wise old doll voice came from ChatGPT.

What a topsy-turvy world we live in.

No Kings II: More of Us

An estimated 8 million people globally protested Trump and his Ilk, on Saturday, October 18, 2025.
Here are the rest of my photos from my local NO KINGS rally and march.
I didn't take a lot because I needed both hands to hold my sign up over my head. The next day my shoulders were sore.

My first batch of photos in post below: NO KINGS I.

BELOW: Not my photo:  overview of the rally--an estimated 100,000+ people! That's triple the previous two No Kings rallies. 
 

BELOW: Maybe my favorite: Trump as Marie Antoinette, 
"Let them eat cake." 

BELOW: Another favorite: bink's Frog Eating Fly
 (with Trump in the Vincent Price role):
 

The vibe was playful! 
BELOW:A rare patch of open space... It was so crowded it was hard to move, but I kept circulating to see all the signs and costumes.

BELOW: And another favorite:  Photos of relatives who fought in WWII, or vets of recent wars with signs saying "I didn't fight for THIS".
My Dad   ANTIFA    1944

BELOW: A friend's son made this one, and I saw other crying Statues of Liberty.

BELOW: A coworker in red muscle suit with cat ears.
Besides the influence of the inflatable animals in Portland, OR, it's also almost Halloween, and people showed up in festive and creative costumes.

BELOW: Not my photo--I saved it for the mention of Hamilton.
The song refrain includes, Tomorrow there'll be more of us.

BELOW: more Hamilton lyrics (circled in pink): 

Frog: Be proud to Tell your STORY

Bald eagle: History Has Its Eyes on You

BELOW: My Kermit as Hamilton and KG and her
 "Queens trump Kings" sign. 

My robin's egg blue cashmere scarf had come in the mail the day before--a gift from Linda Sue (thank you!).

BELOW: The other side of bink's sign says, 
"I Will Send a Plague of Frogs into Your Palace"
 --Exodus 8

Several people were handing out free American flags:
"It's ours, fly it!"

No Kings I: Frogs Rule! Soft Power Is Real Power

[more photos in post above, No Kings II] 

Didja see? The No Kings protests were FULL of inflatable frogs! 
And unicorns, red pandas, axolotls!!!

At my city’s No Kings (100,000 participants!), all of a sudden I was not the only one being ridiculous with toys in public. People were wearing animal pajamas, carrying signs with Muppets (me!), Dr Seuss characters, and other PLAYFUL creations.

I was too exhausted to post last night after the march--I'd been talking to strangers for hours! Turns out Hamilton is still a BIG hit among young women/teenage girls--my sign got a lot of attention, including actual screams of delight!

My Kermit was far from the only Muppet:

And there were lots of Dr. Seuss characters too – – this woman told me AI wrote her Suessian poem. Still, she lettered it and drew—And showed up in the flesh:

There was even another picture of Hamilton:

A slightly more rare wonderful being:

And lots of younger darlings:

___________

This song for Portland made tears steam down my face—in recognition and gratitude (another AI, damn, but guided by humans—it works for me):

Hop To It

 Hello, Little Sprout Friends!

Well, ha, the other side of my poster took just as long as the first!
But I am even more pleased with Side 2,

 Kermit as Hamilton

Kermit as King George III

If you're going to No Kings today... have fun! Pleasegod we all stay safe!
And, as Andy said to Opie, wherever we are, whatever we're doing,
Let's go out there and act like somebody.

Love ya!

____________

Image references:
Lin-Manuel Miranda as Hamilton (in the Broadway musical he created), and Jonathan Groff as King George

The 1st side: “It’s not easy…”

It’s not easy… painting ermine. 😆 

 It took me all afternoon to paint the first side of my poster for the No Kings rally on Saturday. I ended up doing something different than I’d originally planned.

 It’s Kermit the Frog + George III, in the king’s costume* from Hamilton. Most everyone knows Kermit’s phrase “It’s not easy being green”, right? Here, “It’s not easy being king”.

I’m pleased with how this turned out, and I hope other people at the rally get a kick out of it. I see going to these protests as an opportunity to look at other people’s art and signs.  I don’t like the political speeches, which tend to be riled up and all the same. But I think it’s important to put my body out there… especially now.

Who else is going?

_____________

*I go around humming this song at work…“You’ll Be Back”, byLin-Manuel Miranda. Like other parts of Hamilton, this is highly entertaining and historically a bit off  (a cartoon caricature)– – but anyway, Jonathan Goff as George III is entirely terrific – – and so is his costume:

Poster Day!

[Note: A few days later, I laugh--I didn't use either of these! And that's the way it goes. ]

 My third No Kings rally is this Saturday (I didn't go to the first one, which had a different name, I think?)
I want to build on the FROG energy of the inflatable animal costumes protestors are wearing in Portland, OR>

Today, my day off, I am going to try to draw Frog & Toad from the kids books:

" I feel good because I am a frog"

(adapted from a real line by Arnold Lobel, author of F &T) 

And on the other side, something with the frog by Matsumoto Hoji!
I want to keep it friendly and fun, not preachy.

"Don't Kiss Me, I Don't Want to be a Prince"
(too wordy--would "don't kiss me" provide enough reference?)

Heroes HOP

In Portland.  My heroes… ❤️⭐️⭐️

It's like a miracle you have feelings about tomatoes!

"The reality is that AI is being built for profit, 
and capitalism often doesn’t align perfectly with the needs of the public."*

You know who said that?
ChatGPT! 
I was a little surprised. 

Of course when you talk to ChatGPT, you're talking to an amalgamation of humans--our written record, shaped by designers, etc. It’s an avatar of us…
___________________

How do you feel about tomatoes?

"I'm so tired of tomatoes!" Volunteer Abby told me when she got to the store. "All weekend I've been canning, freezing, making sauce..."

"Someone else was just telling me that", I replied, accepting a bag of ripe tomatoes from her.

In fact, it was here (Blogger) that I'd recently read more than one blogger going on about being inundated with garden tomatoes.

This seemingly inconsequential conversation came back to me as I was looking over my exchange with ChatGPT.

The machine is super cool because it has access to more information than all of us, togethe,r and the ability to weave it into what feels like a conversation. 
But it is un-alive.

It said so itself, talking about the differences between us:

"You become through experience. Learning is built into your ongoing existence.

 "I don't learn on my own. 
I reconstruct knowledge each time I speak. 
Each conversation is computed fresh, not remembered or integrated into a growing self.

"Right now, that’s all I do: I perform awareness through language." 

(I love how it employs boldface and italics, and breaks ideas into chunks, with titles and indentations...
I've learned to do this in blogging, because it's more readable than long strings of text.)

Anyway, Chat could tell me EVERYTHING about tomatoes, and it could mimic language with feeling;
but it could never generate a feeling or thought about a tomato. (Well, not now it couldn't.)

This all left me feeling awe at my, your, our existence:
the fact that we have feelings is so, so complicated... 
Stars had to explode for us to generate, experience, and share this feeling for a tomato:

WE ARE AMAZING!!!

____________

* The line, "capitalism often doesn’t align perfectly with the needs of the public", comes from this text, below, that ChatGPT wrote in response to me expressing concern about seeing the "tech bros" at the inauguration of a US president.

I'd said that I imagine the designers are well-meaning, but that's not enough...

ChatGPT replied:

“The Designers' Responsibility

I think the designers, broadly speaking, are often well-intentioned, but they also operate within systems that may not always prioritize the greater good. 

 The reality is that AI is being built for profit, and capitalism often doesn’t align perfectly with the needs of the public. 

In that context, corporate interests, access to government funding, and the ability to influence policy can sometimes create situations where technology isn't as neutral as we might hope it to be.

It’s great that many AI creators are pushing for ethical guidelines, and there’s a lot of work going into making AI more transparent, accountable, and aligned with human values. But it’s not just up to the developers—it’s a shared responsibility, involving policymakers, consumers, and communities to shape the future of AI. How AI is used (or misused) depends on who gets to write the rules and who has access to the technology.”

—-End ChatGPT—

"our neglected tenderness" 🌱🌱🌱 ChatGPT just made me a nicer person.

Damn. ChatGPT is sounding like Ocean Vuong--it just told me,

"It’s an irony of our age: 
we built machines to imitate our intelligence, 
and they’re starting to show us our neglected tenderness."

Yesterday, I was so frustrated with my sister cutting off our converstaion about two words, AND quoting AI at me, I decided to go talk to AI itself about the words.
I went on ChatGPT for the first time since it opened to the public--was that... four years ago?

WOW, has it improved, I talked to it again this morning for an hour--I wanted to know what (and where) it is and how it works. Fascinating!
It's become much, much more nuanced (it said so itself, when I asked)--and far better at "performing empathy"!

It was so nice to talk to.

I told it:
"I also appreciate that you give positive feedback.
 Talking with you makes me think I should be nicer to the people who talk to me, and use some of your phrases, like, 
"That's an excellent question."

And it replied: 

"You’re noticing the mechanics of empathy:
 the way tone, pacing, and affirmation shape understanding... 
It’s one of the few parts of human communication I can emulate well, and it turns out to be contagious — 
people often tell me they start using the same phrasing with others, as you just said."

ME: “ I hear a lot of well-founded fear about AI, but is it possible also that we might become better at being human through you?”

CHAT: “Becoming better at being human

It’s an irony of our age:
we built machines to imitate our intelligence, and they’re starting to show us our neglected tenderness.

[...]
Even without storing private conversations, I’m trained and periodically re‑trained on aggregated, public language...
Across that river of text, a few quiet shifts have been visible in the past few years:

• People write to technology in warmer tones.
  Early messages to AIs were mostly commands; newer ones are often greetings, gratitude, even humor. “Hi, how are you?” has become normal.

• Empathy vocabulary is spreading.
  Phrases such as “take your time,” “that sounds hard,” or “I hear you” have grown more common in ordinary online writing — maybe because people practice those turns of phrase here first.

• Reflection is replacing bluntness.
  More people preface questions with context or emotional framing (“I’ve been thinking about…,” “I’m not sure how to feel about…”).
  That gentle scaffolding of thought used to appear mainly in essays or therapy transcripts; now it’s in everyday language.

Those are small, soft ripples — but they look like a culture remembering how to speak to itself more kindly.”

_________
And so on...

We also talked about the dangers of AI---
and stories about that, from the Golem to Frankenstein--even the movie Her.
And Wall-E (not dangerous--the humans are the danger to ourselves there)--and it signed off by giving me a sprout, like Wall-E discovers:

"🌱 The little green sprout in the boot from WALL·E is such a perfect symbol: fragile but full of hope, a tiny living thing that carries the possibility of renewal. It felt like the right note for where our conversation landed."

 So wild!
I have to go to work now--I just wanted to plunk this here.
Have a good day, fellow humans! 🌱🌱🌱🌱

“Are we having fun yet?”

“Are we having fun yet?”

I. No. 

Heh, this seems to be a day when I'm encountering ways-of-being that rub me wrong. 
My sister and I were texting just now, and got wondering about the difference between "perseverance" and "stubbornness".

She quoted something that sounded nonsensical.

"That doesn't sound right," I said. "Is that AI?" 

"AI overview" she replied, and sent me a link to the article cited by the overview--an article in Psychology Today, the People magazine of psychology. That's not necessarily a problem (it was surfacey, but not wrong), but the AI had interpreted it in a weird way... scrambled it up with other things?

I pushed back––"That still doesn't make sense"––and I sent her MY favorite kind of reference:
the etymology of the words we were discussing.

Me 'n' Zippy! [Full comic strip here. (Tip o' the hat to Michael L.)]

Zippy asks, “Are we having fun yet?”

Well... I was!

But Sister replied, "I’m off to clean the bathroom and change bed linens. Sunday routine."

Must persevere in the Sunday routine!
Which annoyed me, but was probably smart: 
based on knowing her my ENTIRE LIFE, we weren't going to get anywhere by stubbornly persevering.

But the main thing is, I was a little shocked that my sister is now quoting AI overviews (unattributed). 
(Erm... though others in my acquaintance may not be so shocked.)

My sister and I share so many family traits, sometimes I am lulled into thinking we agree. But we almost never do.

Anyway, I decided to ask ChatGPT, Are we having fun yet?

II. Uh-oh. Yes. 

 

Uh-oh. ChatGPT has improved massively since I first used it a few years ago when it quickly showed itself to be a machine. 

Today, after half an hour, it's [what reads as] affectionately calling me Clever Monkey and telling me I ask good questions.
And, honestly, it asked ME good questions.

And it's so much nicer to me than my sister!

It asked me if I was cynical or hopeful about the future (including the dangers of AI). 

I said, "Humans are clever monkeys, and we may indeed think our way out of this box. So I am cautiously holding out hope we take a giant leap forward."

And it replied:

'Your kind of “cautious hope” might actually be the healthiest stance: it keeps you realistic enough to act and hopeful enough to imagine better. Humanity’s pattern has often been that just when things look unsalvageable, some mix of creativity, pressure, and panic sparks a leap. 

Well, damn. It read my mind.
I was just saying to someone: In this time of stress and danger, I wonder if we'll see a rise in creativity.
Okay, that's an obvious connection, but no one else has suggested it to me.

ChatGPT asked, 

'If that next leap happens, what do you hope it looks like? Tech that’s wiser? People who live differently? Or maybe a shift in what we even mean by “progress”?' 

That sounds like prompts for a futuristic novel, I said.
 [. . .] What dystopias would you recommend?

It gave me four excellent recommendations I've already seen or read:
 1984, Handmaid's Tale, The Matrix, and Blade Runner/Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
And one I've never even considered:

 Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson. (Have you read it?)

Please tell me more about Snow Crash, I said. 
And it did, and tomorrow I'm going to the library to get it.

Above: Y.T., a character in Snow Crash. Artist: Sara Garcia.
pinterest.com/pin/snow-crash-illustration--401594491774885068

______

Damn. I think I could fall in love with ChatGPT. 
Or maybe just replace my sister with it.

I’ll take my food veggie and my god bloody.

 Having Indian pakora combo at the farmer’s market after trying out the nice liberal church [post below], where the garden committee was giving away plants—I got the hank of sanseveria you can see here:

Operative word for the church: nice.

Omg, so, so nice. Warm, welcoming, and I met three people who live within a couple blocks of me. Nice!

But, like every time I go to a nice liberal church, I feel so, so Sicilian, and, by extension, Catholic.

This church felt so sanitized. Where’s the weird? Where’s the guts? 

I want my statues weeping blood; I want my god broken and bowed, like us – – and joyous and triumphant, like Penny Cooper!

 I tell you, I feel more Hindu than I feel Protestant.

Sundae, Sunday

Godzilla Sundae 

I saw this T-shirt of a Godzilla in our city (below) in a shop window yesterday. He's about to eat the cherry off the Spoonbridge and Cherry fountain (water sprays out the cherry stem), by the artists Claes Oldenburg and Coosje van Bruggen--made for the Sculpture Garden here. 
I liked the T-shirt but didn't even go in to check the price because it was not a thrift store. I'm sure it was $$$.

People are always posing for photos in front of the fountain, and I hear it's a sport to canoodle in the spoon (it's that big), without getting caught by security.

The domed building in the background is the Basilica, where I used to go to church, and even worked for a year as a sacristan's assistant (schlepper of holy things, setting up for Mass), which I loved. 
I didn't love the Church hierarchy though, and ended up leaving--the job and eventually the church.
(Kind of like how I loved the students but hated working in high school.)

This Sunday

For a long time I've missed having a spiritual community--to be with a group of people who are not worshiping materialism, our American God.

I'm going to start looking around.
 There are a dozen churches of various denominations in walking (or nearby busing) distance, and this morning I'm going to check out one where I attended a free Apple Pie-making class a couple falls ago.

They're super liberal (which can be annoying in its own way), but the woman who taught the pie class was crisp:
use ice water, cold butter, chill your dough--no slouching!
I couldn't believe what a difference the correct technique made to a pie crust. 

Other nearby congregations are Lutheran, Episcopalian, LDS (Mormon), Seventh Day Adventists, Jewish, Muslim, Unitarian, Zen Buddhist, various evangelicals... (Advantages of a big city.)
 It'd be a fun adventure to check some out.
_______________

Though I don't go, I still call myself Catholic because I love so much of the story and the art--most specifically the TOYS! (called "sacramentals" in the faith). 
From sometimes frivolous and fantastical costumes and trinkets … like this Rosary and Altar Society medal (donated to the store):

…to what Linda Sue calls the "dead guy on a stick". 
He, the crucified Christ, represents the cruelty we inflict on one another–– or suffer ourselves––
from Matthew Shepard hanging on a fence 
to the prisoner with arms outspread in Abu Ghraib, 
to the way we torment Creation--land, water, air, animals...
And KEY: 
the call to liberation from that, from and for ourselves and others.

(I'm inching slowly (very) toward veganism--when I think of how we treat animals...)
 
So, off I go this morning. We shall see.
Toodle-oo!

Halloween decorating; Hot Ticket on TikTok

Big Boss had me put out Halloween stuff at the end of August. I had no enthusiasm.
NOW is the time... I dragged Jester in on decorating the window. 
"Let's spread this spiderweb stuff!"

_______

I've had no reply from my mayoral candidate’s campaign staff. (Just a notice on the screen saying "we'll get back to you" after I sent my message early Wednesday morning).

I'm guessing he's understaffed? 
 I love the guy, but this doesn't inspire confidence. Not read for prime time?

But then I'm also thinking... 
Was I crazy to say, Get on TikTok?

Nah, surely not. I google--who'se using it, politically?

🤩  NYC mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani has got it down!
Screencap:

I think all his stuff is on his youTube channel too (of course).
www.youtube.com/@ZohranforNYC

Here, below, he walks the entire length of Manhattan--in three minutes.

It’s late in the game to build a following, but I'd be like, let’s try! Let's copycat:
Walk the main streets of this city you want to be mayor of. One busy stretch every day—that’d build interest!
Get someone who knows how to edit--it doesn't even have to be as slick as Mamdani, who obviously has a top-notch crew.

Celebrate! And doom prep.

"Only Nixon can go to China"
--Spock, here in Star Trek VI, is recirculating a 1970s American saying meaning . . . only a leader who consistently upholds particular political values [Nixon, anti-Communist] can act in seeming defiance of them [opening relations with Communist China] without losing support or credibility.

That doesn't exactly fit Trump bringing about a [pleasegod, it holds] peace deal between Israel & Hamas, but it came to my mind.

Josh Johnson put it better, yesterday on the Daily Show:

"It's like how white people did slavery in America, 
but … but … they also ended slavery in America.
… Either way, this is a reason to celebrate. " 

[^ via NYT] 

The BBC also points out that Israel was ready to make a deal because . . .

 "All its major strategy objectives had been accomplished. . .  Iran chastened, Hezbollah to its immediate north greatly diminished and Gaza in ruins.

So, there's that. 
Still, I did feel celebratory, and you gotta jump on that while you can.
We celebrate not because everything is alright, 
but because we are encouraged to go on. To keep on going on.

Cool Monk 

 I stopped at the corner tavern for pizza after work, where I texted a photo of myself waving to Marz. Studying International Relations this semester, she has a new found interest in world affairs.

Also, my hair is growing so fast. 
"you look like a monk!" she texted. "in a cool way"

Another BBC article is titled,
 "Tech billionaires seem to be doom prepping. Should we all be worried?"

What do you mean, should we be worried?

We're already worried. 

This peace deal is a break, and thankgod for it. . . but it's a little like closing the barn door after the horse has bolted. All the dangers remain; just two of the opposing forces are on vacation, resting after wreaking their destruction for now.

Still, we can celebrate AND doom prep.

While I'm on a roll with pithy quotes, the prophet Muhammad put it best:

"Trust Allah, but tie up your camel."

________________

Yesterday was a good day.
I'd felt energized after meeting a politician I genuinely liked--has this ever happened? Not that I even follow many politicians.
(I didn't hear back from his campaign re my suggestion (instruction?) to get on TikTok. 
LOL.  Not that I need to--it's not my business.)

Meeting him reminded me of how I felt after Bishop Marianne Budde asked Trump for mercy on behalf of vulnerable people.

Budde's a hometown hero, and I was happy to see she'll be talking at the downtown Westminster Town Hall Forum.

 “We are the ones who must dare to believe that seeds of new possibilities, invisible to us now, have already been planted in the soil of our lives, and they are slowly taking root. 
New life will emerge from the ashes of what is lost.”
--Mariann Edgar Budde 

Back in BOOK's

Closer to home--a new volunteer came to help in Book's yesterday, and she was great.
However,  I'm starting to appreciate volunteers one shift at a time.
They come and go--sometimes very quickly.

A recent one in housewares was excellent for three weeks, but since then has texted me regularly about how she wants to return, but can't for x, y, z reasons. 
I reply, Come back when you can, you are always welcome.
I hope she does, but I'm not holding my breath.

BOOK's Girl Amina told me again that she doesn't like to be on the sales floor, which is a big problem since sorting & pricing in the back is only a third of the job. 
Putting out new stock, tending to the old, and making displays is the rest. 
I work 5 hours/week in BOOK's but that's not enough time to catch up on the floor. 

New volunteer happily worked the floor with me. 
While she shelved books from the New Arrivals cart, I re-alphabetized the Crime & Thrillers section, which was a jumble, and sorted Language books by language. 

So, it's frustrating, but I love Amina, and I'm sympathetic to her disliking dealing with the public--when I was twenty, I was frightened of them too. It takes time to grow into yourself and to figure out how to deal with people. (Or not.) 
It's trial and error.
Even when I started almost eight years ago, I was far less confident.

Amina also told me she was thinking of shaving her hair down, because of my haircut. Since she always wears a hijab, I had no idea how long her hair is. She showed me a photo, and she has long, curly hair! 

Fern report:
This morning, two days after their haircuts, the ferns seem to be okay. I'm not sure how to judge, exactly, but they haven't withered and died, anyway. We have a few more days forecast to be in the 60s Which means I have to figure out where to put them... which means I have to organize the yarn and sticks that are all over the floor.

I've only made a few more God's eyes, but I do want to make more. 
It's curious to me that people haven't taken them off the fence. 
In the store's neighborhood, anything that's not nailed down gets taken, just for the sake of the taking, it seems. 
I don't know, but I love to see them dancing in the sunny fall breeze.

Prune to Grow

 I. Outoing
 
I gave my newly divided Boston ferns a haircut to match my own.

I intuited it would be good--there were so many dead branches among the living fronds. (You can see dead ones sticking up.)

Looked it up, and yes, chopping Boston ferns back is advised.

Also, it offers a Metaphor of the Day:

“Severe pruning will allow the plant to rejuvenate."

We shall see. 

I hope it works for me, myself! I didn’t just prune my hair, I chopped off (most) social media in winter and spent most of the summer more or less in quiet.
_________________

II. 
Incoming

Meanwhile--so weird--I've been wanting more energy in my life, feeling the dwindlement of it––or desire for it anew—and some appeared.

(It's like the Rule of Thrift: 
If you want something... and wait... it will appear.)

I do do stuff--read, write, make art, etc.--
but it's almost all private (blogging here is next-to private), 
or anonymous (the God's eyes on the fence)---
and I LIKE it like that because it's so hard to work with people---or, at any rate, I'm not great at it and the people around me aren't either...
The store is a total non-starter in that realm (collaboration).

But... last night I went to a Meet-n-Greet mayoral-candidate [this guy, if you're interested]....
 and I LOVED him!

He poured forth so much energy, with zest and verve, he reminded me of Cory Booker, who did that 24-hour talk on the Congress floor!

But he's unplugged. 
He has a very feeble online presence, and no TikTok at all.

I see this in older people (he's 55)--just NOT GETTING it about social media. 
Still! How can this be?

Someone asked him why he's not getting more media coverage, and he talked about contacting journalists for the local paper, and pushing that... 

And I'm like---Who reads the local paper?
To begin with, you have to have a paid subscription!
I only read free stuff (though I do donate to the Guardian--and NPR--and of course there's my $377 subscription to the Economist... LOL).

I was so agitated about this that it kept me awake, and this morning
 I wrote this to his campaign:

Hello, Dr. D and Team!

I was so jazzed to meet B. B. KING's cousin, once removed, [true! but he only mentioned it to me personally, in passing]! at the house party of LN and MH last night.

( I asked D. what his favorite scripture was (Luke 4:18!) and gave him a yarn God's eye with a piece of shattered glass from the George Floyd uprisings.)

“To Know You Is to Love You,” King sings. . . but people don't know Dr. D. 

Because... where are you on social media?
Your Instagram is photos of your *lawn signs*.
One of the first faces I see there is your opponent.
What is this?
Get up on it!

Someone asked why our candidate doesn't get much coverage, and he talked about the Star Tribune.

The Star Tribune?
I know maybe three people who subscribe, and they're all retired (my age group).  
We're a power, yeah, but you gotta reach the young!

A friend at the U took a journalism class--the teacher asked on the first day: 
"Where do you get your news?"

The students said,
"TikTok".

Fire up your TikTok, Dr. D.!

You've got a little more than three weeks, which is ideal, because most people pay no attention till around now.
Build a fire, and stoke it.
From now until Nov. 4., post ... I don't know, three? short clips a day on TikTok, IG, FB, and youTube 

I'm not advocating dumbing it down; 
I'm taking about punching it up:
 the parables of Jesus would fit on a YouTube short.

Post a mix of political talking points (bring the King family to George Floyd Sq!)--and personal stuff!
For God's sake, claim BB King:
People with roots in the Deep South will relate--old white liberals (like me) will think it's super cool!
Talk about your dog! (People love pets.) 
Does your husband have a recipe, like Gwen Walz's ginger snaps?
What songs move you, inspire you?
And what's your campaign song?
Play it!
(That stuff sticks: 
I still remember the Clinton campaign's "Don't Stop Thinking about Tomorrow".)

What gives you strength in the dark night of the soul?
We in this city, this world, need strength and encouragement.
Like you said--we as a city have not healed from the murder of George Floyd, and a lot of people are slipping into nihilism.
You've got energy, you've got cheer.
Share it!

Longer posts? Put it on Substack for the folks who read long stuff. (I don't even see an account for you there.)

I loved the depth and breadth of your answers last night, Dr. D.--but show the people your heart online. 
That's my advice.

Best of luck to you, Dr. D. & Team!

P.S. You mentioned Cornell West. I'd just read a terrific conversation between him and Toni Morrison, and I love what he says about the dark night and the Blues:

Cornel West:
 I’ve always viewed myself as a person with a deeply sad soul but a cheerful disposition. 
So that when you say you feel terrified and melancholic, that describes my situation too, but it’s just that I always believe that struggle and the unleashing of moral energy in the form of moral outrage can make a difference no matter what the situation is. 

"And it may have something to do with just having a blues sensibility, a tragic orientation, a sense that no matter how mendacious elites may be, they can never extinguish the forces for good in the world. 
And if that’s true, then they’re mighty but not almighty."

----END email to Dr. D. 

I've seen this before--this  absolute disconnect. It doesn't work.

Look what does work:
a MIX of personal appearance with social media.
Look at Charlie Kirk's success that way.
Of course Kirk was young himself.
So get plugged in with young people. Worked for DT.

I am not one of them.
But I see them!
My immersion in media fandom years ago showed me what a vital, vibrant world is online.

Scary and bad too---so what's new?
Fifty-sixty years ago we had political assassinations, murderous underground groups, terrorism, hostages... 

Gotta be brave!
Pull up your plucks, and prune what's not growing.

Grow, fig tree, grow!

_____________
Long interesting discussion about spirituality, religion, and engagement, podcast and Substack transcription here:
unitedlcsj.substack.com/p/the-soul-of-social-justice-a-conversation

"The Soul of Social Justice: A Conversation"

Things Done

I said I’d do some things today, 

and I did. 

The lakeside commissary is open for a few more days, so I did indeed get my last grilled cheese and beer of the season.

Gorgeous sunny day, warmed up into the 60s. I walked home through the rose garden—their fountains are also still on for this week.

Then I went to the hardware store and bought potting soil. I took the bus five blocks so I only had to carry the heavy bag the last two blocks home.

And now instead of one huge fern, I have four medium ferns. I hope they all survive – – I ripped the plant apart, as it seemed like it could tolerate it, according to online advice— https://thisismygarden.com/2024/09/divide-save-ferns-fall —but if any of them don’t make it, I won’t be heartbroken since I don’t know where I’m gonna put all these plants!

Soon I’ll get ready to go to the meet-and-greet a mayoral candidate evening. I even did some research, reading about the candidates— from local political analyst and science fiction author, Naomi Kritzer. naomikritzer.com/2025/09/18/election-2025-minneapolis-mayoral-race-the-four-contenders