What love is this?

Pirate, Adieu

First off, I am sad this morning: Pirate, beloved husband of our blogfriend GZ of "ook?!" is gone... after a long, active, good life.

GZ is the blogger who made the little translucent gold glazed pots the girlettes claimed. I've known her online for years, and she often photographed Pirate, a bike racer like herself, in velodromes and on country lanes...
It's a true sadness to lose a member (-by-marriage) of my bloglife real world.

Condolences to you, dear GZ.
_________________________

I enjoy my job.

Speaking of biking--I'm not today. The wind just blew my screen door open so hard it tore off the spring closer...
I shall take the bus.

Kirsten asked in a comment--if I don't love my job, do I at least enjoy it? "The days don't seem to be the same," she wrote, "which can balance out the not-loving."
Yes!
Exactly. There's a lot of variety in people and activities, and I enjoy a lot of parts of my job--all the students! and many of my coworkers-- even if I don't exactly love the job overall.

My home people are autistic students with "high support needs", but every hour or two I change classrooms, and while I see a lot of the same students in other classes, they are not the only ones. I go with one student into an art class, for instance, where the other students are all gen-ed.  An English class is all special-ed students with different dis/abilities who need little support, so that's a different group again.

My home group takes all sorts of outings--a weekly grocery store shopping trip via city bus and a walk to the library, as well as special field trips. If a student wants, I can take a walk outside with them--I do this almost every day now.

In class, the students do all sorts of different things, from cooking to watching movies, practicing social skills, and free time on their school-issued laptops.
A small (15 min.) portion of the day is spent on "academics"--reading or math.

. . . 

Why don't I love my job?
I'm not sure.
I never felt called to teaching. You can be good or decent enough teacher without a vocation--I sense that I'm a good aide already--but without a Calling, would it be a Love?

Magic & Mechanics 

What do I love?
It's a funny thing, but ever since I was little, I've loved the stuff at thrift stores and the like. Scavenger hunts, antique stores, garage sales... actual garbage. Dumpster diving, picking up "found objects"... broken things...
Things related more to magic than to mechanics-alone. 

"Art" is in that thrift-store magic category.
Collage and assemblage are often made from actual garbage (found or discarded objects), but all art holds the delight of objects that humans make not-for-use-alone, and the serendipity of discovery...

Toys are similar--objects made for pure fun, transfer or transitions, or for fun-learning. Thin line with religious tchotchkes, sacred totemic knickknacks.
Little Free Libraries, bookstores, and libraries--ditto. (Internet shopping doesn't appeal to me--it lacks the physical hunt.)

Oh! I have to go catch the bus! Wow--I thought I had another hour.
I'm not done with this question, but all for now.