Refresh Up

I. Words Can Bend, & So Can We

Watching sports and smoking pot?
Well, shoot.
We'll be good work pals, but I was disappointed that Mr No-Exclamation-Points listed those activities when I asked people what their fandoms were, at happy hour last night.
Flirting stops here:
sports & pot are high on my list of Active Dislikes.

He's a great coworker--knowledgeable, helpful--for which I am truly thankful.
But I'd been hoping that he was a writer, say, or at least a language lover.

He told me, however, that he supports non-gendered pronouns, but he doesn't like "they" because, It's plural.
When I asked him what non-gendered pronoun he liked better--"zie/hir?", I suggested--he had no answer.

Uh-huh.
I'm embarrassed when people my age pretend to be hip, but complain like fuddy-duddies that it's inconvenient to learn new terms:
"It's so hard to change _____ {fill in the blank: Negro to Black; "retarded" to "delayed"; homeless to unhoused}".

Yes, it's a miniscule inconvenience to adopt new terms, and the euphemism treadmill guarantees we're going to have to do it again and again, as each new term takes on pejorative meanings....

But the idea behind name changes is noble:
to refresh how we see groups of people who are not granted social respect.

Be noble.

Or, just be honest. After all, you don't have to like it.
But it's you, not the term.
You could say, "It's beyond me"; or, even, "I don't like it".

Loyalty to the rules of grammar and complaining about bending them is not support, so don't say it is. Exclamation point.

I was excited to talk at happy hour to a woman who works in the media center–she told me she's retiring and I should apply for her job for this coming fall.

I would love to work in the media center!
But--speaking of "it's beyond me"-- I can't do the tech that I think is a big, BIG part of the job.
Audio-visual equipment, computers, etc.

I find it difficult to learn tech, partly because I'm not interested in the machinery, but also, my brain does not bend that way--never has, and it's definitely less bendy as I age.
Maybe I'll ask the librarian (media center boss) if he needs help with books in some way... just for fun...

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II. The Kids Are Alright

Speaking of fun, there was a talent show yesterday, and one of the songs performed was Taylor Swift's "You Belong with Me".

I'm used to people talking bad about kids, but I haven't seen badness at this huge high school.
I mean, I'm sure bad things are happening.
No doubt. Because humans.

But on the surface anyway, I see young people being vulnerable (the kid who told me they were depressed); sincere, funny--and kind:
when I was lost, I asked a kid in the band room for directions, and he walked me all the way to my destination.
And when the entire audience sang along to this song, about a nerd girl in marching band finding love (but yeah, she's still Taylor Swift)-- all the way through--I felt such sweetness, I kinda teared up...

______________________

III. Benefits

At the end of my second week in this new job yesterday, I thought, "I've got this."

I'm a little disappointed--had expected more of a steep learning curve.
There are, of course, a LOT of things I don't know (in-depth understanding of neurology), but the basic job?
Yep. Got it.

Of course I can add challenges and learn more, and I will.
Meanwhile, a great thing is--(there are several great things, actually)--
I will be honest: THE PAY.

Until now that I'm earning a livable hourly wage, I didn't fully realize how much underground stress I was registering (like rumors of an earthquake) as I became aware of my body physically aging while I continued to grow poorer, drawing on my savings to supplement the thrift store pay and giving large chunks away to coworkers.

Earning decent money does not just add comfort (that too: I ordered what I wanted at happy hour! and it didn't even cost one-hour's pay)--it increases my sense of safety.
(I always want to add that safety is an illusion. But it's a nice illusion.)
Say, if I have to move at some point, I can afford to do that.
If a friend needs money, I can share without undercutting my retirement.

Another great thing: RESPECT.
A coworker said we who work in special ed are on the bottom of the Educator Scale.
I see that, but the truth is, a lot of people do respect educators, even in sp'ed. Society at least gives lip service to that.
Clap for Teachers.

No one (hardly anyone) respects people who sort the garbage donated to a run-down thrift store, not even many of the workers and managers themselves.
Well, I do. And you, too. But you know what I mean.

So that's nice, to be part of something---educating and caring for young people--that is generally agreed to be a Good Thing, and that is supported as such.

Teachers should be MUCH MORE supported--why aren't they paid as much as an engineer in tech?!--but compared to the thrift store, I am supported in my work:
I get health care, vacations, a work laptop, opportunities to learn more (gotta get on that), recognition from other educators, parents, etc.

So, yeah.

Something else unexpected, and nice:
A return of ENERGY.

I continue to sleep a lot. Last night–after a week of new people, places, and activities––I slept twelve hours. I woke up at 5 o'clock this morning but decided to recharge my battery all the way, plus, and went back to sleep a few more hours.

But more to the point: I am not wiped-out when I come home every afternoon.

Again, in contrast I see how right I was that the thrift store was heavy emotional/spiritual work. Working with people in distress with no outside support was Olympic weight-lifting level.
Damn.

Helping someone who has overdosed in the parking lot; talking to people with drug-ravaged faces and bodies; watching someone high on meth throw a stapler at a cashier;
and then witnessing drug dealers sell the stuff across the street, for years---it takes it out of a person.
And Management offered us nothing in the way of replenishment.

I know I've said all this repeatedly, but being away from it and looking back, I am astonished...

IV. Level Up

So... I feel somewhat energetic.
I am wondering if I want to take something on.
School? Train for a different new career?
A personal project?
Or, better--for now, find ways to level up, right WHERE I am!

Initiating the found-pencil project made me happy...

I wonder if I could interest/engage the students in making a zine...
The autistic students I work with have "high support needs". They are not the college-bound kids in the sp'ed program--and they are not well able to express themselves to outsiders.
. . .
A zine might could be a cool way to do that. Or just to have fun creating something NOT on the computer.

The students are on their laptops a lot, and they seem to generally love it. I see radiating delight, watching, for instance, some videogame play-through. Some autistic people flap their hands and call out when happy (or distressed)--and that expression of joy can be infectious.
In fact, I have to be careful not to appear in any way mocking, but the other day when I was happy, I caught myself flapping my hands.

I asked a science teacher at happy hour about that--how I pick up expressive joy, and the teacher reminded me of our brains' mirror neuron systems.

You know,
"Mirror neurons are a class of neuron that modulate their activity both when an individual executes a specific motor act
and when they [ * NOTE the plural "they"!]
observe the same or similar act performed by another individual.

"The discovery [early 1990s] of mirror neurons was exciting because it has led to a new way of thinking about how we generate our own actions and how we monitor and interpret the actions of others. This discovery prompted the notion that, from a functional viewpoint, action execution and observation are closely-related processes, and indeed that our ability to interpret the actions of others requires the involvement of our own motor system."

--"What We Currently Know about Mirror Neurons", NIH, 2013 (but still true)

Applying that to the thrift store environment, how much we were exposed to/ mirroring despair actions? A lot.

Anyway, not to take away from the joy of computers, but I wonder if the students would enjoy creating something ON PAPER to share?
I don't know.
Something to explore!
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Below, A drawing I'm working on while I'm in art class with a student--a Toothy Landscape with Llama.