Candidates for the Rewriting Public Prose Project (RPPP), inspired by Michael's series How to Improve Writing, "dedicated to improving stray bits of public prose". [His most recent post in the series.]
1. ALDI Door Sign
Simple rewrite: change "impersonating" to "misrepresenting”:
2. Directions from HR
Arriving at X Center: There is parking available on the south side of the building off of X Ave. Check in with the south side of the building security desk, let them know you have an appointment with me and they will contact us to let us know that you have arrived for your schedule new hire appointment and they will then be able to direct you to the HR suite.
Adapted:
Arriving at X Center: Park on the south side of the building, off Z Ave. Check in at the security desk inside. You will be directed to HR.
BONUS for adding bus stop information:
The bus will let you off in front of the building. Walk around to the back entrance, off Z Ave. Check in at the security desk, and you will be directed to my office.
EXTRA BONUS for mentioning bike racks!
(Though I am too lazy to bike--it's a ways away.)
__________________
I've re-covered three Murderbot novels so far.
The original covers' art didn't deviate much from the 1969 'Astronauts of Apollo 11'* puzzle, below. (I got it at a thrift store).
The visual association––which I expect most Americans & other readers would make, maybe subconsciously––doesn't help us visualize Murderbot as not-necessarily-white and absolutely non-gendered and non-sexed.
I tell ya, even with all the re-visioning I've done, even though I've reread the books a couple few times, and even though the character is explicit about how it was designed with and wants! no sex parts or gender identity, I still default to picturing the inhumanly strong Murderbot as male.
I continue to collect images of strong humans to help replace my brain’s Neil Armstrong model.
BELOW: athletes Claressa Shields and Amanda Bingson
NEW TEENS
I wonder what I'll encounter, re gender, working with teenagers, and maybe especially teens on the spectrum.
Studies suggest people with autism are possibly more likely to NOT relate to gender, to be non-binary or trans.
Or, wait, should I say it the other way round? (What's the difference?)
"People who are transgender or nonbinary are more likely to be autistic. One large study found that it's three to six times more common."
www.npr.org/2023/01/15/1149318664/transgender-and-non-binary-people-are-up-to-six-times-more-likely-to-have-autism
Most of my former coworkers were old and entirely set in their thinking and even actively hostile to rethinking gender expectations.
The 23-yo cashier was an exception. She had a boyfriend who was AFAB (assigned female at birth) and had made no chemical or surgical changes to his body, so he looked and sounded to me entirely female.
I had no problem calling him "he", and I really love that.
We are adaptable. EVEN THE OLDS!
Great rewriting. After reading Far Side reruns this morning, it occurs to me that if the Aldi sign is indeed a warning to animals, it should be written in their style for readability: backwards letters, misspellings.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if that period between the sentences at the bottom of the sign should be a comma. Or the “that” in the first sentence could be changed to add clarity. “Please keep it in mind,” etc.
I've had books that had cover art I didn't like. I just ripped the cover page off. I never thought of re-covering them. That's a fantastic idea!
ReplyDeleteI want to impersonate a service animal!
ReplyDelete