I took this photo of dandelions in the store's parking lot yesterday:
This long social stagnation has been/ is hard on me and many others I know. (Maybe you too?)
Part of it is, we're alone too much with our monkey minds.
I've felt like such a failure during the eight weeks of Stay-at-Home.
I've berated myself:
Why haven't I organized my entire block to do aerobics in the street?
Why haven't I organized my entire block to do aerobics in the street?
Why haven't I set up a Zoom group?
Why didn't I pursue a medical career when I was young?
And, Why,
why, why [my standard] aren't I already a Pulitzer Prize–winning journalist,
now out on the street interviewing people who live rough?
.
.
Basically: I must have made all the wrong choices all along, right? or I'd be rising to the occasion as A Better Person.
Ugh.
I know full well:
THIS IS RIDICULOUS thinking.
When the whole world is shuddering, simply staying on one's feet is hard. And being knocked down is normal and sane.
[One could point out, the world is always shuddering, and some people always register the shudders. But I mean, for a thicky like me, I'm feeling it too.]
.
.
Far from being an angel of mercy, encouraging all around me with my wand of stardust, instead I've had conflict with HouseMate (all is well now); Sister (we're not talking! good going, Team Human); and a very dear friend (still to be resolved, pleasegod).
Isolation is not good for us.
My favorite
podcast Hidden Brain had an episode on Loneliness (during Covid, or
anytime)---it's a public health problem too:
www.npr.org/2020/04/20/838757183/a-social-prescription-why-human-connection-is-crucial-to-our-health
Loneliness can become a self-perpetuating downward spiral--people get lonely, feel bad, and stop trying to reach out.
When there's no obvious way to reach out, like now, that can be bad.
.
My blog has been extra-important to me these past couple months.
.
.
Blogging has been an anchor---
or, better, it's been a filament in the underground mushroom network,
through which forest plants communicate.
.
or, better, it's been a filament in the underground mushroom network,
through which forest plants communicate.
.
I haven't needed much to help sustain me--
simply the light touch of knowing there are other bloggers out there.
But I miss the rub of contact in person, which is more like being in a rock tumbler than brushing against a spiderweb.
.
.
Again--I'm so grateful the thrift store is letting people come back to work while we're closed. (Especially since we'll stay closed at least another week).
Seeing my coworkers reminded me, we are all little animals, easily knocked off our feet.
(I know NO Pulitzer Prize winners.)
One
of the best things about going to work
yesterday was hearing my coworkers all saying much the same
thing:
I'VE GAINED WEIGHT AND DONE NOTHING!!!
Ha!?
And did that make me feel better?
It really did.
I suspect being a "better person" might mean accepting that wondering "Why aren't I a better person?" is a trick question, and just getting on with not being one.
Now off I go to work, to be a schlub among schlubs, and glad of it.
I suspect being a "better person" might mean accepting that wondering "Why aren't I a better person?" is a trick question, and just getting on with not being one.
Now off I go to work, to be a schlub among schlubs, and glad of it.
