Substitute

I. A brontosaurus is as good as a hawk.

I showed the portrait of "James I as a Boy" to BOOK's Girl Amina yesterday.
"My dolls are going to dress like this for Halloween. I need a small bird, a sword, and some green velvet".

She rummaged around and found a few small rubber animals.
How bout a frog instead? she said.

Yes! She gets it!
But the brontosaurus looks more like a hawk (it's its ancestor!), so I took that.
We also found some Target sports mascot with green velvety legs--"I hate materialism," Amina said--"These just came out in stores last week, and one already shows up here."  I cut the legs off for pantaloons.

And then, Amina had saved a set of tiny Toledo cocktail swords, and I borrowed one of them. (I assume they were tourist tat--googled them--they are, and also expensive! Like $100 on ebay.)

Ta-da!

The props are sitting on top of another find from the store--1950-60s fruit/dessert bowls by Russel Wright, for Iroquois China.
There are two each: "ice blue" and "ripe apricot". 
(I've always liked Wright's design --it reminds me of the Guggenheim, by another Wright--Frank Lloyd).

Someone had put these in the to-be-priced 69¢ bin at work.
Sigh.
They're around $10 on ebay. Probably wouldn't sell for much at our store... Still, more than 69¢. 

II. Nothing Is Not Effective; Trying Is a Start

That's the thing with being Well-Meaning, which I keep thinking about. For it to benefit others (or oneself), you gotta add in Effectiveness.

We recently got some nasal-spray doses of Narcan donated. 
Instead of the old kits containing a little bottle and an empty needle to inject someone who has overdosed, you just stick this tube up their nose and push the pump.
Easy!

A coworker took one to put in his car.
Once, he told me, he had injected someone he'd thought had overdosed. (Narcan won't hurt you if--if you aren't overdosing, it's  inert).
Turns out, the man had not overdosed, he had just passed out and soon came to.

The coworker said, "That's good, because I think I was supposed to have filled the needle with the liquid in the little bottle."

Ya think?
Well-meaning, he had injected nothing into the man.
Still, if he hadn't been well-meaning, he wouldn't have even tried--and trying is SOMETHING... It is the beginning of wisdom: you can try, try again.
Next time, he'll have the nasal spray!

Reminds me of the teaching (attributed with no source to Teddy Roosevelt or the Marines):
Best thing to do is the Right Thing.
Second-best thing to do is the Wrong Thing.
Worst thing to do is No Thing.

It takes so long to learn how to be in the world!
I definitely vote for reincarnation--I want another go.
Actually, jeez---I don't know that I'd want to Do Life again...
Would you???

I will just try harder for the time I have left now, and call it a day.

III. Placebos work, even if you know they're placebos.

One tactic I'm trying is: to treat my sister as if I were an A.I.
I got the idea because I liked how Chat was so nice to me--complimenting me on my questions and observations. 
I felt special!

I had to forcefully remind myself that it would compliment me no matter what I said--it's designed to make you feel loved like a warm apricot in the sun.
It works, even if you know it's a performance.

So, I thought, I'm going to try a drop of that, like a lubricant on some of my most stuck relationships. 

Often, it doesn't work to just STOP.
 You have to SUBSTITUTE.
Stop smoking.
Start knitting.
That sort of thing.

I never had a good replacement strategy in this case--and that's where channeling AI tactics comes in. I've started to pick up on something she said and mirror it back, with praise.
"You've got such a good eye for choosing quilt patterns!"
Like that.
It's not lying, it's the expansion of a small, true-enough thing.

And it seems to work. (It worked on me when AI did it.)
I want it to work. I want to make it to the end of my life (or hers) in a mutually pleasant relationship with my only Family Member. That would count as success.

____

I'm off now, this Sunday morning, to Week 3 of my Lively Experiment, going to the nearby Church Founded by Roger Williams. (I wonder who there even knows or cares about this...)

Have a lovely day/evening, wherever you are, Blog Friends.
You're so good at being you! (Ha-ha, jk. But, actually, also, really!)