Just wanted to say clearly that I'm totally behind the idea that sharing pronouns in groups shows a sort of "I'm Spartacus" solidarity with trans and gender nonconforming people:
"I stand with whoever faces the biggest risks in pursuit of freedom for us all."What I can't get behind is the vinegarish, policey feel of groups that pressure everyone to give their pronouns, and how people go along so they fit in, not necessarily because they agree.
I suppose you could say that that social pressure is a good thing, it's how we exert group pressure on one another to Do Good, to Behave Well--it's the mechanism behind manners and civility, and healthy behaviors such as wearing masks.
I suppose. But the thing is, while I do love the overall aims of the gender revolution (to loosen bonds), I also have some questions about the methods; and I've seen that questioning is seen as (possibly) traitorous, and gets shut down, and that is NOT good.
Like when my dental hygenist told me she was unsure about Harry Potter because J K Rowling was anti-trans (which she isn't, she just questioned some aspects of it).
OMG.
So, I'm just not keen on the group-think aspect of it.
LET'S TALK, PEOPLE! (I know there's a lot of talk going on too.)
On the other hand, when I see the hateful responses to gender freedoms, ("We'll crucify you all" in Spartacus--and they really mean--and do--physical violence, not social disapproval),
I'm definitely happy to stand and give my pronouns.
What I should/want to do is resist the group think, and take my lumps (social discomfort) for doing so.
And at MY workplace, that means bringing up the question of gender and pronouns!
II. Age
River asked about the server at the hip café calling my older women friends and me ladies, "What is wrong with being called 'ladies'?"
Exactly.
My point was that the server calling us by a gendered term (ladies) points out a generation gap:
The server was young and I doubt she would have used such a term with her own age cohort, because that--gendering someone––is seen as wrong.
Like that sign I see in some places like this café:
"Please address staff by gender neutral terms."
I expect it was just a slip on this server's part, but what it illustrated for me was that young people don't see older people as being in their camp, or as being like them.
Calling older women "ladies" is ...mmm... well, it can be polite, but it can also be condescending. "Aren't you cute old things, out of the political loop."
There is sometimes an age divide in feminist attitudes toward gender.
Which, right now, is not the question dearest to my heart.
My workplace may be behind the curve with re-imagining gender, but we're REALLY behind the curve with recycling:
Aside from paper and metal, we recycle nothing.
III. Climate Don’t Care
I've tried to find a way to get recycling going at work, but the management won't pay for organic recycling, so we throw away huge amounts of food (including rotting or squashed leftovers from food give-aways, etc.).
I asked someone about neighborhood gardens taking our food for composting, and they said it was possible, but I never pushed and made it happen.
Susan Art Sparker sent me this, from Amitav Ghosh's The Great Derangement: Climate Change and the Unthinkable (2016):
"Climate change has not been a significant political issue... instead political energy has increasingly come to be focused on issues that relate... to identity: religion, caste, gender rights, and so on."So, again, I WISH we would discuss and debate gender and identity, yes, those are good things that matter. And they COULD go hand in hand with changes in how we use carbon (cars, garbage, etc.)
At root they're all about seeing ourselves as having power to affect each other for good or for bad, and choosing how we use that power.
AND they're about how we deal with change.
Change IS happening, whether we like it or not.
How are we going to adapt to it?
My workplace is pretty great in many ways.
Because we're such a diverse group of people, in age, national origin, race, etc., there isn't a lot of group think.
Most of my coworkers mostly don't talk the gender talk, but they are all about the individual, and if someone were trans, I think some might be uncomfortable, but they wouldn't ostracize the person--the way they treated the person would depend on whether they LIKED the person or not.
So, I like that model.
And because most of my coworkers are poor, they take the bus, or bike (like me), and they live in shared housing. Those who drive cars usually own one car per family. It may not be by choice, but they (we) don't use as much carbon as your average middle-class person with one car per person and large, free-standing living spaces.
So, it's complicated. Lotsa X-factors. And it's interesting. Lotta stories out there. I like that, uncomfortable though it can be.
Enter the story!