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Monday, February 8, 2021

Fine Tuning on the Home Front

The weather is the news here in Minnesota: we're hovering around 0º Fahrenheit/-18ºC for about ten days. I took the garbage out on Saturday but otherwise haven't stepped outside since Friday afternoon.

Nine below, this Monday morning. I'm bundling up in snow pants, etc. and taking the hour-later bus, when it's supposed to rise to -5.

I actually had a nice weekend inside. I spent a lot of time yesterday on my due South flower fanart (posted), and chatting with a couple dS fans.
I'd sort of forgotten how lovely it is to have fan friends--like blog friends, but someone's ALWAYS ON LINE, writing a fic, making fan-art, or willing and ready to discuss some aspect of the fandom, or their lives.

I'd been so immersed while working on the Fandom book for teens 2016-2018, staying up till 3 a.m. on Tumblr, etc., I got overexposed, burned out on that ever-present energy. I dropped it all entirely afterward, including deleting my fan accounts.

Yesterday I reactivated a couple. I'm not in any danger--it was writing the book that fried my circuits. Normally I'm not over-involved.
It's a nice option for a freezing February during a pandemic.

Last night HM and I had a hard discussion that turned out well.
When I'd first moved in (only a year and a half ago), she was involved in all sorts of things that took her out of the house regularly.
Since the pandemic, every one of those has dried up--sometimes for  reasons outside Covid, like a friend she saw regularly died of something else.

So HM is in the house 24/7,
too isolated, while I never have time alone at home. Being in my room is good, but after a while, I feel cornered.
I really miss Marz since she moved out a week ago, but it's turned out to be helpful to be able to spread out into the guest room across the hall from me again.

It was a conversation that HM & I probably should have happened a while ago, but I'd felt stumped.
I couldn't ask her to go somewhere else. Where, in February in a pandemic? No library, movie theater, coffee shop, etc. are open to hang out in. She doesn't even have a car to go for a drive, and it's too cold and icy to go for a long walk.

Life on the Home Front, full of majorly minor problems.

In the end, it wasn't coming up with a solution that helped so much as the relief of being honest about the situation.
"I feel cramped!"
"I feel lonely!"

We agreed that we would spend a little time together every day intentionally, rather than her hovering around wanting contact and me going around in an invisible bubble to avoid it.
I think this will help, moving toward the issue, not spending energy trying to skirt around it.

Sometimes when I come home, we have a beer together, and it's always been good to check-in, debrief from the day.
I suggested that we plan on a daily after-work check-in, but we've both gained weight, so with tea instead of beer. She thought that was a great idea--a short time of concentrated attention is better than a lot of distracted near-misses.

This is the sort of "work" of living in a pandemic, right? The fine-tuning of things that are a little off, just enough off to drive you crazy.

Now to spend ten minutes getting ready to walk to the bus stop.

Have a good day, everyone!
Take care out there, wherever you are.