My favorite Christmas image this year (maybe ever!):
Three of The Addams Family (Morticia, Wednesday, and Pugsley) by my favorite Madeline doll photographer, W12LA, on Instagram:
This Monday morning I'm heading back to work after a four-day Christmas break.
It's 13ยบ F ( -10 C) at 8 a.m. As long as the temps are in the double-digits and it's not windy, it's okay to bike. (I'm trying to avoid taking the bus during Covid.)
Screen cap from my workplace's fundraising video, taken on Dec. 23 (before it started snowing).
I'm on the far left, holding a yellow book:
I've been looking at job postings online. Nothing I want to or can apply for at the moment.
Not the best time of year for job hunting, or the best year!
It's not an emergency.
I turn sixty in March, I'm healthy (knock on wood!); I will keep looking.
1. Can I afford to keep living on a part-time, low-paying job, as I have most of my life?
It's one thing when you're young––why not?––but heading into old age? Especially, it limits where I can live. I've always rented from people I know, which is not always what I would want...
2. Do I WANT to stay?
Given the dysfunction, even if my job paid a lot more, would I want to stay?
That would help, but I don't know...
Anyway, it's a moot point:
my workplace doesn't and isn't going to pay me or anyone else more money.
I used to love the place. I started volunteering there almost three years ago--and working as Custodian of BOOK's two and a half years ago (June 2018).
Even in September, I felt I was in the right place and chose not to pursue another bookstore job.
The stress of Trump & Covid–times has revealed
underlying, seemingly ineradicable (because unacknowledged) uglinesses.
I'm almost alone in seeing or caring about them.
I was especially disturbed that most everyone scoffed at the volunteer who quit because of sexism.
The gaslighting goes, If you're unhappy, you are the problem.
And yet, there's a lot I do love there.
If you're in a rough place, it's going to be rough.
How to stand it?
When is enough?
I don't know.
On my wall at work:
a coworker adapted the card to read "Neil diamond" (I'd said I like the very young ND);
I found "fun time! Play grup for Animals" in a donated book:
