Moby-Dick: "I will have no man in my boat," said Starbuck, "who is not afraid of a whale."
I was e-mailing with the friend who'd recommended the TV show Transparent (which I've yet to watch because it's on Amazon and I've got Netflix---oh, the complexities).
She told me about a trans pal who leads trainings in which, my friend wrote,
"He allows people to feel safe enough to ask questions, trusting that he will be respectful in his answers. I think safety is such a key piece in human interactions, don't you?"
Do I think safety is a key piece in human interactions?
No, I don't.
"I know what you mean," I wrote back,
"and I agree with the idea of creating places where people can ask questions freely,
but I like respect so much more than safety.
Creating is not safe. Risk is the opposite of safe.
risk, from riscare = "to run into danger" (of uncertain origin)
I do see the value of someone doing the political work of educating people about difference, and to do that, yeah, it's probably smart to create a "safe space".
But who is it safe for?
Not for the teacher.
The teacher is taking the risk for the team--for their future safety:
"If I can make the students understand, they will be less dangerous to us."
It's the teacher in the boat with Starbuck.
Starbuck Leaning Against the Mainmast, ca. 1930 --by Rockwell Kent, via
Taking a risk to build mutual respect. That's what I think is key in human interactions.
It's not safe.
I was e-mailing with the friend who'd recommended the TV show Transparent (which I've yet to watch because it's on Amazon and I've got Netflix---oh, the complexities).
She told me about a trans pal who leads trainings in which, my friend wrote,
"He allows people to feel safe enough to ask questions, trusting that he will be respectful in his answers. I think safety is such a key piece in human interactions, don't you?"
Do I think safety is a key piece in human interactions?
No, I don't.
"I know what you mean," I wrote back,
"and I agree with the idea of creating places where people can ask questions freely,
but I like respect so much more than safety.
Mutual respect.
Also, sympathy (kindness/compassion)."
safety, from Latin salvus = "uninjured, in good health"respect, from Latin specere = "to look at"
sympathy, from Latin sympathia = "community of feeling"
I thinking "looking with fellow feeling" is a better key to human interactions than safety.
I'm not a big fan of the phrase "safe spaces".
Safety tends to be an illusion, or stagnant.
How does a person stay uninjured?
How does a person stay uninjured?
By not playing, not leaving their comfort zone, by staying silent––or by requiring other people to stay silent. I.e., stagnant.
risk, from riscare = "to run into danger" (of uncertain origin)
I do see the value of someone doing the political work of educating people about difference, and to do that, yeah, it's probably smart to create a "safe space".
But who is it safe for?
Not for the teacher.
The teacher is taking the risk for the team--for their future safety:
"If I can make the students understand, they will be less dangerous to us."
It's the teacher in the boat with Starbuck.
Taking a risk to build mutual respect. That's what I think is key in human interactions.
It's not safe.