Today is All Souls' Day, the beginning of the month of the dead in the Catholic calendar.
My mother is my favorite soul. Here she is, below, wearing sunglasses at my brother's wedding because she'd doped herself up to her eyeballs in order to attend. She spent most of her time in her hotel room, ordering pancakes from room service.
I'm on the far right. I hadn't wanted to come either. I'd asked my brother if attendance was optional.
He'd said no. (Lesson: don't ask.)
I had this photo up for years. bink took it, and I think she caught some of the Monty Pythonesqueness of Family: everyone engaged with someone off camera but not with one another... It could cause pain, but mostly I just feel affection.
Also, I like my hair.
The ceremony was in southern CA, where the bride is from, "by the ocean": basically in a parking lot (for boats). The grass was some plant that grows green spikes under adverse conditions.
It was the first time we'd come together in 20ish years, kids and parents, and it would be the last time until my mother's funeral some five years later, if that counts.
I don't imagine we'll get together again. I certainly wasn't willing to try again when my sister got married in San Francisco a few years ago. I know she was displeased, but I didn't ask for permission.
When I meet family of people with dementia at work, and I see they haven't made the switch to the new reality, I can relate. My mother didn't have dementia, but she did slowly disintegrate (the sunglasses didn't fool anybody), and none of us could really get in synch with that.
I'm meeting friends at the basilica where I used to go, to go out for breakfast after Mass. There's a Book of the Dead set up for the month; I'll write my mother's name in.
He'd said no. (Lesson: don't ask.)
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| L to R: sister, brother, mother, me, at my brother's wedding (1996? –97? God, I don't even remember.) All these people are not dead, to be remembered on All Souls' Day. Only my mother. |
I had this photo up for years. bink took it, and I think she caught some of the Monty Pythonesqueness of Family: everyone engaged with someone off camera but not with one another... It could cause pain, but mostly I just feel affection.
Also, I like my hair.
The ceremony was in southern CA, where the bride is from, "by the ocean": basically in a parking lot (for boats). The grass was some plant that grows green spikes under adverse conditions.
It was the first time we'd come together in 20ish years, kids and parents, and it would be the last time until my mother's funeral some five years later, if that counts.
I don't imagine we'll get together again. I certainly wasn't willing to try again when my sister got married in San Francisco a few years ago. I know she was displeased, but I didn't ask for permission.
When I meet family of people with dementia at work, and I see they haven't made the switch to the new reality, I can relate. My mother didn't have dementia, but she did slowly disintegrate (the sunglasses didn't fool anybody), and none of us could really get in synch with that.
I'm meeting friends at the basilica where I used to go, to go out for breakfast after Mass. There's a Book of the Dead set up for the month; I'll write my mother's name in.
