"I write like..."

I pasted an old blog post into the "I Write Like" site and they gave me this badge:

I write like
David Foster Wallace

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

While I know this is a ridiculous comparison--based, I'm guessing, on my use of lots of parentheses and dashes?--and possibly even insulting (read, "convoluted and digressive")--not to mention generated by a machine that serves a commercial, not artistic, interest, nonetheless I now have a little genius halo glowing around my head.

MacArthur grant people?
Over here!

PART TWO
And then I submitted a boring chunk of pedantic hogwash, written for work at a 7th-grade reading level, and the analyzer told me I write like Dan Brown.
Bingo!

Try it and let me know who the machine says you write like.