Thursday, February 19, 2009

That's just wrong.

"Engage, a fragrance by Jean-Luc Picard," from Bob Mitchell.
No, that's not wrong--it's not even such a bad idea, if it were real.
Read on.

TrekMovie.com lists upcoming Star Trek merchandise, to accompany the release of the new movie (May 8).
Star Trek Monopoly sounds like fun. Star Trek pajamas for adults? Sign me up.
But Star Trek fragrances?
We-e-e-e-ll [looks dubious]... maybe . . .
But with these names? "Tiberius," "Pon Farr," and "Red Shirt."

Did they ever watch the show?

If you've read this far, you probably already know Tiberius is James T. Kirk's middle name--never a good name in the first place, as Tiberius was a great Roman general but "the gloomiest of men," according to Pliny the Elder-- fans like to change it to "Tomcat." (And you know what they smell like.)
Pon Farr, of course, is the Vulcan rut, when the Vulcan male has to mate or die. I guess this is the best of the lot, even if Pon Farr only occurs once every 7 years...
And Red Shirt translates to "Kick Me"--he's the poor schmuck who's not coming back from the planet with the team he beamed down with.

So, let me think. What would be good Trekkie names for men's cologne? (I assume these are for men!) I don't know... How 'bout, off the top of my head, Command? Bold. Cool Blue. Sensor. Guardian. "I Canna Do It, Captain!" (Maybe not.)
Bones? [snort]
Plomeek Soup?
Oh, dear...
Think of some more?