Dolly Parton gave my favorite response to the problem of Intent vs. Impact:
In 2018 Parton renamed the Civil War-themed ride 'Dixie
Stampede' at her amusement park, Dollywood. She said:
When they said ‘Dixie’ was an offensive word, I thought, ‘Well, I don’t want to offend anybody. We’ll just call it The Stampede'.
[--via]
Ta-da! Easy. A graceful and grown-up response to the problem of Intent vs Impact =
What we mean may not be what is actually heard or experienced by the receiver.
***Once we realize we've caused harm, even unintentionally, what do we do?
Parton said, "As soon as you realise that [something] is a problem, you should fix it. Don’t be a dumbass. I would never dream of
hurting anybody on purpose."
Speaking of growing up, I've been sorting old photos this week, my spring-break, and I am shocked at how young I was when I was young.
BELOW: My friend Tracy, left, and me, right, at 21 y.o.
BELOW: At the art college library with, left, GZ in 1993 (I was 32), and right, RMcG in 2000 (I was 39).
but I love the gain in wisdom.
Maria Montessori:
"Concentrate on strengthening and helping the development of what is good...." (--one of the ten core Montessori principles)
to me today, this is so profound: "I mourn the physical losses that come with aging,
ReplyDeletebut I love the gain in wisdom."
having ended up with all the family photos i have been shocked and sad to see how i looked when i was younger. i never had confidence in my looks and to see how i looked was different than what i thought i looked like was such a revelation.
lovely photos!
kirsten.
FRESCA here:
DeleteHi, Kirsten! Do you mean to say looking back you think oh my God I was so young and cute? There’s a funny little clip from Schitt’s Creek the TV show – – have you seen it – – where the mother tells a young woman to take lots of pictures of herself because when she’s old she’ll be able to look back and see how beautiful she was.
True!
yes! yes! yes!........looking back to think i was so young and cute! i feel so conceited to say it out loud!!! i mentioned this to my oldest female cousin and she told me, of course you were! at that time i was enamored of how she looked and was so confident. she's about 5 years older than me.
Deletemaybe it's better we didn't know as not knowing didn't hold us back.we weren't wrapped up in our looks like many in high school/junior high/college.
my upstairs neighbor tells me that my face is so strong even at 70 but i don't feel that way. all i see is my mother's face in the mirror and we weren't on good footing for many years.
kirsten
I bet this is a common experience that we can’t see ourselves clearly – – especially when we’re young? But maybe now too?
DeleteI hope we can see our beauty and strength as we age! I think I do appreciate my body a lot more, actually – – I’m not judging it against some sort of magazine model ideal!
I look like a blend of my parents, I don’t see either one of them in the mirror,
but I have a friend who looks almost exactly like her mother as she’s aged, and like you she’s not happy about it because her mother wasn’t good to her, sadly.
A different GZ?
ReplyDeleteYou are fortunate to have photos...being the photographer there can't be many of me over the years
Ha ha, yes, I hadn’t even put that together till you noted that you have the same initials!
DeleteI am grateful to have a lot of photos – – I always wanted to record things, and to see that I was there too, so I’d ask people to take my picture as well.
I wish Dolly Parton would run for president.
ReplyDelete